|1.||Struttin' That Ass|
The first meaningful step took since Thomas Aquinas on the oldest and greatest philosophical question man has ever been faced with: 'Does God Exist'?
The answer: You'd be so goddamn fucking tired everytime you get to newhope, that you won't be struttin' that ass(STA^-1)... you'll be huh huh!
This breakthrough is in a message which was revealed to the masses by The Strut-Pope Gutter Ass The Third, first of his name, BLESSED BE, and may he NEVER strut away from the light.
Most remarkable is the scientific aspect, which can be elegantly translated to MATHEMATICS. The equation can be expressed thusly: If you got a fucking Mercedes-Benz and you ain't walking, you WILL be struttin' that ass, struttin' that ass. In this case you will have a Struttin'-That-Ass quotient of 2, or (STA^2). On the other hand, If you be walkin', and you be NOT struttin' that ass, then you will have a Struttin'-That-Ass quotient of -1, or (STA^-1).
This is an exciting time to be alive. We are on the precipice of both redemption and damnation. It's time to throw down once and for all and decide which side you are on: The side of the Strut-Pope(STA^0), or the side of the vile Chauvinistic Pigs, who strut that ass however many times they please(STA^∞), entropy and the law of conservation of energy BE DAMNED!
NOTE: If any particular situation is not laid out by the Strut-Pope, as briefly reviewed below, be aware that the default stance is to be struttin' that ass, struttin'(STA^1.7).
Situations whereupon you will be in a negative quantum "Struttin'-That-Ass" co-efficient (STA^-x):
*When you start walking, my friend! And you get ten fifteen miles on the highway you won't be struttin' that ass(STA^-1)! You'd be half dead by time you get there.
*When you walk about fifteen twenty miles, you won't be struttin' that ass(STA^-1). You'll be so fucking tired you won't hard hold that ass up. . . UNGH!!! You won't be struttin' that ass, struttin' that ass(STA^-2)!
Situations whereupon you will be in the "Struttin'-That-Ass" meta-state(STA^x):
*It's a chauvanistic pig attitude that you gonna do something because you work at (mumble-stone), you got a fucking mercedes benz, and you ain't got to walk everyday so you goin' to get out and strut that ass, strut that ass, strut that ass, strut that ass, strut that ass (STA^5).
*So it's a chauvinistic pig attitude that clinton's got; strut that ass(STA^1).