Poop into a tube sock, tie it up tight, wrap the loose end tightly around your hand, and beat someone with it repeatedly. AKA: dirtybronson.
Picture Al Capone, (in The Untouchables,) beating that guy's head in at the dinner table with a dookie-filled tube sock instead of a baseball bat.
(Victim) "What the hell????????? That's FOUL!!!! I AM a team player."
(Witness) Damn dude, you're lucky you only got a "StinkyCapone."