youngest member of the Griffin family, with the one goal - world domination and killing his mother lois - most of the time they don't work.
(sorry the nxt bit is so long, i lke stewie and know a few quotes!!!)
"I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up.""
Olivia: You are the weakest link, goodbye. ------
Stewie: Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!
Stewart Gilligan Griffin is the football headed, 1 year old, youngest child of Lois and Peter Griffin on the tv show, Family Guy. He is easily the coolest one on the show simply because he is bent on world domination but is still overcome by the simple weeknesses of a 1 year old, such as a binky or the dreaded Teletubbies.
Brian: say something please.
Stewie: oh for god sacks, hmmm let's see here... oh yes *clears throat*
yay, and God said to Abraham, "you must kill your eldest son Issac." and Abraham said, "i'm sorry i can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone" and God said, "oh i'm sorry, is this better? Check Check Check, Jerry i think you'll have to take the high end out i'm still getting some his back here..."
Brian: SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY MOTHER!
Stewie: oh yes, i'm sorry. I never knew bisscut as a dog, but i did know her has a table. She was sturdy, all for legs the same length..
Brian: Thanks, Thanks, That's enough
(stewie goes down the slide and lenard a kid from his preschool lands on the back of his head.
Stewie: "LENARD YOU PUDGY FACED APPLEJON I WILL NOT BE MADE A FOOL OF..."
(another kid goes down the slide and lands on stewies head.
Sorry about the Quotes i love his quotes
Stewie: Well, it's Stewie, but... you can call me "cookie" if you like. Yes, I also answer to "Artemis," "Agent Buckwald" and "Snake." Yes, I rather like "Snake." "Snake Griffin."
Li: Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
Stewie: I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."
Stewie: Oh I feel so delightfully white trash. Mommy, I want a mullet.
Stewie: Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.
Stewie: Picking up the phone. Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes,
Stewie: 867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...
Stewie: You. Fetch me my copy of the Wall Street Journal. You two, fight to the death.
Stewie: Hmm, time for dessert. Let's see - big chocolate cake for Stewie,
holds up a leaf to Chris
Stewie: and something very tasty for big, fat you.
Stewie: Come any closer and I'll cut her.
realizes he's holding a tongue depresser
Stewie: I'll give her a series of splinters... that could become infected.
Stewie: hitting on some co-eds I must say, the most recent campus sporting event was quite spectacular.
Co-ed: Aw. Are you in a fraternity, little boy?
Stewie: Not yet, but I'm thinking of joining I Felta Thigh.
Stewie: Yay and God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son, Issak", and Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."
Stewie is a 1 year old son of Lois and Peter Griffin. His life goal is to kill his mother and take over the world. He is the COOLEST character by far and the special episodes of him and Brian are the best.