In a town you must fight to survive, there was a small school that defied all odd, and did the impossible.
From the producers of:
Shall we Dance or Shall we Buy Really Expensive Things,
Harold and Kumar of Westport go to and buy White Castle,
and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Rich Person
comes the extraordinary story of an ordinary school with a lot of money. At $2.00 for a Bacon Cheeseburger and $1.75 for a Vitamin Water, Staples High School is not a place you wanna be living in if you're black. Coincidentally, there are 7 Black people in SHS, which is the reason for our basketball and fried chicken eating contest success. The school requires academic excellence, and you're a failure if you don't go to an ivy league college, hence the large amount of asians. Of course, because they all look alike, it's tough to tell that there are infact more than one of them, but if you look at the yearbook, they're there. Additionally, the kids from Westport are breed for exceptional achievement in sports, with the help of fancy equipment. In fact, rumor has it that some kid bought a $500 baseball bat before actually making the team. Of course as fate would have it, the little pudgester got cut. Of course, this meant nothing except maybe he'd have to go a day without his normal gourmet meals, but this kid had enough gourmet meal to feed all of africa. A typical math class consists of each and every student equiped with TI-84 Plus calculators, which go for $120 a piece wholesale. Another exrtaordinary thing about this mid-sized, recently renovated school is that, the minute you walk in the door, on the floor is a 10 foot emblem, made of marble imported directly from Italy. This bad boy goes for 17 grand and upward. The film and audio classes are surrounded with only the most recent and high tech programs on the market, and every room in the entire school has an 8 foot pull down projection screen, with a full color, state of the art RBY projecter paired with it. However, contrary to popular belief, the teachers there are oblivious. After school hours are spent infront of the TV, enjoying a friendly game of Xbox live and a light snack, consisting of milk, cookies, and weed. So this summer, prepare yourself for a joureny that will stay with you... forever

Staples High School: The Movie

you know u go to staples when....

1. you have walked 10ft without seeing a tv and felt the overwelming rush of relief when u saw the piler with a tv on either side
2. you are not surprised when yest ANOTHER nail salon opens...in the place of where an old one used to be
3. you have had a time where u felt that the most social place to be is the diner
4. the police reports section of the westport news only has stories on people letting their dogs off leashes at the beach when they're -gasp!_not supposed to
5. you have paid $1.75 for a vitamin water b/c face it...ur adictied
6. you think norwalk is like harlem/south side of chicago
7. while someone was describing someone as the tall emo kid u have sarcasticlly said...well that narrows it down. to half of staples
8. if you're a "player" you're most likely NOT on an athletic team, and you definitely don't get around
9. u have overheard people asking for dimes from people and the only response they recived is that poeple had dime bags
10. you'll pay 3.50 for your lunch but refuse to pay $1 for the Penguin Plunge/various other good causes
11. you have had at least one teacher know everything about yout social life
12. every one of your teachers is clinically insane..it's usually your foreign language teacher
13. (regarding only to poeple with older siblings) you have had every sophmore and older come up to you yelling ur last name
14. the most exersize you get is walking the stairs in the new building
15. you hav...