| 1. | St. Louis | ||
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While not technically the largest city in Missouri (that honor belongs to Kansas City, due to some creative annexing and stupidity on St. Louis' part), the entire area's a lot bigger and more influential. Home to Budweiser, the St. Louis Cardinals and the Gateway Arch, this city of roughly 2.8 million people also has some good music, good food and weird customs. It's pretty much Boston-on-the-Mississippi: mostly Catholic, very insular, loves baseball a little too much, has an inferiority complex (here it's with Chicago) that we take out through baseball. It's got a lot of bad points, too: we live too much in the past, we've deluded ourselves into thinking we're either still really important or just a "big small town", and we can't support a football team worth a damn. Overall, it's a very Midwestern city: misunderstood and a little weird. "Where did you go to high school?"--If you can't answer this question with something an average person born in St. Louis can understand, you're fucked. Seriously.
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| 2. | St. Louis | ||
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The best friggin city in the entire United States, if not the world. It features great cuisine, amazing people, and awesome schools. Among its more famous attributes is the Gateway to the West, aka the Arch; as well as Forest Park, the St. Louis Zoo, Six Flags St. Louis, and we are also the hometown of Busch beer. It is also the well-loved home to the Cards, Rams, and Blues. Also, the people of St. Louis know that there is no "r" in wash, which just makes them cool. Random person: "Where are you from?"
STL person: "St. Louis" Random person: "Wow! That's so cool! That city's awesome." |
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| 3. | St. Louis | ||
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#1 in baseball and #1 in crime. -Did you see the Cardinals won the World Series at home in St. Louis?
-Nope, I was too busy being mugged. |
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| 4. | St. Louis | ||
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The Greater St. Louis Area is the only urbanized area in the state of Missouri. (NOT MIZ-UR-AH!) There are NO farms in the area short of the tourist-y places like Grant's Farm, but even that is at least a fifteen min. drive from the city. Essentially, the entire Jewish population of Missouri lives in the suburbs of St. Louis and surrounding areas like University City,(aka U City, or Jew City.) Once you are half and hour's drive from St. Louis, the trailers get bigger, the trucks get bigger, and the people get bigger, and congratulations, you're officially in MIZ-UR-AH, the redneck part of the state. You Know You're From Miz-ur-ah When...
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-Everyone in your family has been on a "Float trip." -"Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags. -Down south to you means Arkansas. -The phrase, "I'm going to the Lake this weekend," can mean only one thing. -You know what "Party Cove" is. -You think Missouri is pronounced with an "ah" at the end. -You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football. -You think I-44 is spelled "foarty-foar." (St. Louis Only) -You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU. -You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis. -You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm. -You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri. -You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is. -You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport. -You think Imo's is larger than Pizza Hut. -You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. -You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather. -There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it. -The local gas station sells live bait. -Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions. -All your radio preset ... |
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| 5. | St. Louis | ||
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1. A big city in Missouri on the Mississippi River that's Home of Cardinals (MLB), Rams (NFL), and Blues(NHL).
2. An awesome city with a nice skyline thanks to the Gateway Arch. 3. Home to a large Bosnian population. 4. Also Known As STL, the Louie, the L. 5. A city with one of the highest crime rates in the US. 6. Hometown of Nelly, Chingy, Jibbs & J-Kwon. 7. The most badass home town you can have! I'm from St. Louis, the city with the steel arch.
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| 6. | St. Louis | ||
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St. Louis
The Greater St. Louis Area is the only urbanized area in the state of Missouri. (NOT MIZ-UR-AH!) There are NO farms in the area short of the tourist-y places like Grant's Farm, but even that is at least a fifteen min. drive from the city. Essentially, the entire Jewish population of Missouri lives in the suburbs of St. Louis and surrounding areas like University City,(aka U City, or Jew City.) Once you are half and hour's drive from St. Louis, the trailers get bigger, the trucks get bigger, and the people get bigger, and congratulations, you're officially in MIZ-UR-AH, the redneck part of the state. Stupid St. Louis Laws
-It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets. -A milk man may not run while on duty. |
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| 7. | St. Louis | ||
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The capital of flyover country. Also the gay capital of the Midwest. St. Louis has the most broken educational system in the Midwest, whereby the "good" schools are segregated by sex, and the "bad" schools are not about education so much as they are about incarceration. The colleges in St. Louis are completely overrated and prepare students for a life of Midwest Mediocrity. Any college graduate with an ounce of ambition avoids St. Louis like the plague. St. Louis is a very segregated city - The North side is for the brothers and sisters, the South side is for the "hoosiers," the West side is for the privileged snobs and the East Side is where you go for strippers. People live in St. Louis because the cost of living is dirt cheap. Most inhabitants of St. Louis have given up on life and are completely out of shape. You will find a McDonald's every two blocks, but a Subway once in a blue moon. St. Louis is as boring as any city in the Midwest. There is one block in Midtown that has two or three "hip" bars where young people go to pretend having a good time. The entire town is obsessed with baseball, so all fun-loving St. Louisans stay home every night and watch the baseball game. St. Louis has many parks, but at any given time the park is inhabited by an abundance of promiscuous gay men. St. Louis is the ultimate "trap city." Joe: "Why are you moving to St. Louis?"
Bob: "I want to get fat, send my kid to an all-boys school and stay home every night watching TV!" |
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