HOMELESS GUY DOWNTOWN: Man nigga, Fuck spokane
Long the second largest city in Washington state, Spokane had recently dropped to third (to Tacoma) in terms of population, but as of March '05 it is number two again. It's sad to fight to be #2.
The chief attraction of Spokane is Riverfront Park, a 100 acre park centered around the Spokane River in the downtown area, and designed by the Olmsted Brothers.
Spokane is the home of Bloomsday, the world's largest road race. Cyan, creators of Myst originated in Spokane. Notable Spokanites include Bing Crosby, John Stockton, George Lynch, Craig T. Nelson, David Eddings, and Gabe and Tycho of Penny-Arcade.
Spokane has been called the meth capital of America. A medium sized city, it suffers from urban sprawl and a small-town attitude. It's hard to find a decent job in Spokane, but it's a cheap place to live and it's great if you like outdoor activities, as there are several lakes and mountains in the region.
Spokane is know as the "Gateway to the Rocky Mountains."
Also the Spokane River, runs through the city.
We have Bloomsday and Hoopfest. And had the U.S. Figure Skating Championships a couple of times. Some cool bands come through every once in a while. It's fun to walk around downtown and hang out in Riverfront Park, watch the falls, stop into Boo Radley's, stroll through River Park Square. there are quite a few nice parks around the city.
There's a meth problem, but it isn't as bad as people think. In nearly every city with meth, people call it the "meth capitol of the U.S.!!!" Politics are somewhat conservative, but not extremely so by any means; the city is actually somewhat liberal. Our mayor is currently a Democrat and people are supportive.
Overall, your typical American midsize city with its own quirks. Marmots!
Spokane is a good place to go if you would like to be shot by the police. The incompetent boobs who run the department specialize in firing upon minors, beating retarded janitors to death and ticketing old men with canes for jaywalking. But that's only because they are incredibly efficient at their jobs and have virtually shut down all crime in the city.
Wait, what? No, Spokane is also the meth capital of the world, and the police department's attempts at reversing this trend add up to...let's see...eight hundred divided by seven times six to the third, carry the one...EPIC FAIL.
Good jobs are impossible to find, here. There are "good outdoor activities" nearby, but all that really does is attract rich white kids to camp their asses on the South Hill and drink shitty canned beer while waiting for the next "good powder, man."
In short, Spokane is a nest of greasy rats breeding in a big, ugly valley with a serious air pollution problem. I hope it explodes.
Policeman: HE'S HOSTILE! OPEN FIRE!
Meth Dealer No.1: Is the coast clear to transfer this massive amount of crystal methamphetamine to a storage facility in broad daylight?
Meth Dealer No.2: Oh, yes, quite. The police are ticketing jaywalkers again today.
Meth Dealer No.3: I love Spokane.
Oh and did I mention like to move here and then complain about it
Californian: God get me the hell out of here where is my coat, great someone shit on the coats
Me: Shut the fuck up. Spokane sucks huge cock