Spishak commercials usually have:
-A repetitive jingle that cues once the Spishak guy appears
-Someone seriously maimed and bloodied up at the end
-Bad acting and saying things that make no sense
-A couple worried about an issue irrelevant to the commercial
-Pat Kilbane (or whoever the Spishak Guy is in the sketch) jumps out of nowhere claiming he can fix their problems
-The married couple claims "Spishak Man has saved our marriage!"
Spishak has created a plethora of stupid products, including:
Spishak Mach 20 Razor
Spishak Hey It's Ovens For Kids Easy Bake Oven
Spishak Excuses Excuses Excuses Excuses '98
Spishak Bug Zapper Only The Bugs Are Deers Instead
David Herman as "Troubled Man": (Throws water on car) AHHh!
Spishak Announcer: No need to worry with new Spishwax carwax from Spishak! Spishwax is based on a highly scientific principal. Too difficult to understand but easy to a apply!
Troubled Man: (Throws water on car)
Spishak Announcer: See how the water beads? That's Spishawax protecting your car from water damage! Unforutnately Spishwax won't protect your car from:
Paint, Tar, Feathers, Guano, Shampoo, Conditioner, Wood Stain, Mahogany Wood Stain (Troubled Man just throws a can of wood stain at the car really hard), Eggs, Scrambled Eggs, Easter Eggs, Easter Rocks, Baseball Bats, Bowling Balls, Chum, Potted Plants, Jewish Weddings, Cat Litter, Neighborhood Kids, Chicken and Dumplings, Christmas Decorations, Cinder Blocks, Sledgwhammers, Sandwiches, Did we mention Baseball Bats?, Boat Anchors, And Wrecking Balls!
Spishak Announcer: So when you think of carwax...
Troubled Man: ...Spishak Spishwax from Spishak! The catalog says-
Angry Car Owner: HEY!!! WHAT’D YOU DO TO MY CAR!? HEY!!! (Chases Troubled Man)
Spishak Announcer: Spishak Spishwax, Remember: "It's just wax."