(Adj.) Acting redonkulous aggressive and explosively combative towards others with little or no warning, in order to mask the overwhelming insecurity brought on by small (or potentially missing) testicles. Often a jealous reaction by a disgruntled, sad little scrotum dangler who has attained some level of public authority, for example a cop with a chip on his shoulder after repeatedly being passed over for promotion. Spicenutty behavior is differentiated by roughnuts behavior in that the spicenutter seeks to appear unpredictable and tough, where a roughnutter actually possesses both qualities in abundance. Spicenutters also seem to have an uncanny affinity for "Dora the Explorer." To date this connection has gone unexplained by the scientific community.
While hosting a baller-assed 2-day full-tilt boogie party, I chillin with a bottle of Sailor Jerry and drifted off to sleep. 20 minutes later I was called to the front door. There, I met a large, roided-out, gangry, bald-as-fuck 45+ year-old sheriff's deputy, trying to gang bitch my nephews and pointing a maglight in my face. Big boy, but not my size. This is where I began to detect all the familiar signs and symptoms of the classic spicenutty cop. "I asked for the owner!" "Yeah, that's me. Why did you wake me up." Dickpocalypse starts looking around, hot women everywhere, sweet house, rocket car, me obviously 20 years younger than he expected. He continues yelling. "How the hell could you possibly sleep through all this music and chaos? It sounds like all hell's breaking loose back there (by the pool)." He starts stepping toward me. "I was a soldier." Impassive thousand meter stare. "Now how may I help you." Ass- trinket stops cold, and explains all the things he could have done, and would have done, and then scoots that little srunt no-load ass out of there. Already thinking of the next "Dora" episode, no doubt. In other words, spicenuttiness is being a killjoy, trying to throw your weight around, especially when you see young people who have actually had sex, having fun.
by Johny 2 Guns July 14, 2010