A large shit whose length spans at least the circumference of the inside of the toilet bowl. Extreme relief usually accompanies release of a spanner, as does the occasional bloody anus, sudden weight loss and clogged toilet.

Mass consumption of sunflower seed shells can turn an ordinary spanner into a mace spanner. Resembling the spiky medieval weapon, mace spanners should be avoided at all costs.
"I just ate 4 bowls of granola. There's gonna be a spanner in the toilet tomorrow, I tell you."

Tom:"Dude, I just shat out a wingless 747."
Ron:"No, Tom, you shat a spanner. Good for you. Now unclog the toilet."

Ron:"I told you should have spit out all those sunflower seed shells, Tom."
Tom:"Fuck you, Ron. My intestines are being shredded as we speak. It's only a matter of time before this mace spanner turns my butthole into a bloody, fleshy origami fortune teller"
by Larsone April 18, 2010
1. A useless fish poker player who thinks they are the best.

2. A bad poker hand.
He went on Tilt after going all in preflop with 2 4 offsuit and losing. What an Absolute Spanner!

What were you doing going all in preflop after 2 re raises with that 2 4 offsuit Spanner hand anyway? You deserved to lose.
by Michael Falstead October 27, 2007
(UK) spastic; person of mental retardation, Down's Syndrome, etc.
"You're such a spanner!"
by - August 04, 2002
A Type of role player that God-modes beyond belief, and calls it "Being Literate". Anyone using the name Spanner is a god-moder, Illiterate, does not know the difference between a coma and a period, Copies everyone else's bloodline abilities, "Tears" open portals and pops out behind you (Of course to rape you), uses magical powers from space to destroy your base, will leave the leader of the good guy organization to die and won't care, and most of all, because he is a mother ef-ing piece of crap from Australia.

Can also be used to name someone that always has to be right, never wrong.
Dalco - ((Logs onto gaia)) "Oh god, I hope that Spanner didn't post... Oh god he did... ((Reading)) EF! SPANNER! MOTHER EF-ING SPANNER! I JUST THREW A PLANT AT YOU! HOW THE EF DIG YOU ABSORB IT AND BECOME THE UNIVERSE! EEEEEEEFFFFFFF SPANNNNERRRRR!!!!!"

Spanner - "I am SO smart. I am SO Literate. I am THE best role player EVER. I eat squash."
by Daylina Ketloybeau May 03, 2008
A long, unbroken turd which lays across the toilet bowl and will fold in half when the toilet is flushed (extremely rare)
I'm almost 40 years old and I've pinched only one spanner in my lifetime.
by Big Steve September 04, 2003
A nickname for a foxy girlfriend -
I call her spanner because every time she touches me, my nuts go tight
by AussieDave September 27, 2005
a funny British fellow who enjoys chasing the ladies
~also goes by "mikey"
~"Mike SPANNER enjoys all things british and chasing after females"
by Sierra April 18, 2004

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