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11. Spanner
A long, unbroken turd which lays across the toilet bowl and will fold in half when the toilet is flushed (extremely rare)
I'm almost 40 years old and I've pinched only one spanner in my lifetime.
by Big Steve Sep 4, 2003 add a video
1. Spanner
A person person who is a complete fucking muppet, or a retard.
You mate, are a complete fu'kin spanner. Youre one apple short of an orchard.
by Dave Sep 25, 2003 add a video
2. spanner
Someone who's a tool
You're such a bloody spanner
by el Jan 7, 2005 add a video
3. spanner
1. noun: someone who really fucks things up - derived from the term "spanner in the works".
Dude, if you weren't such a spanner, things'd still be alright now.
4. Spanner
Spanner wrench - a special wrench used in the fire service to assist in decoupling fire hoses.
Yo.. Rookie.. get the spanner off the engine.
by Craig Oct 21, 2003 add a video
5. spanner
A particularly lengthy turd which stretches from one end of the bowl to the other.
I dropped a spanner in Julie's toilet at her party, but when I flushed it bent in half and plugged the bowl how embarassing!
6. Spanner
A large shit whose length spans at least the circumference of the inside of the toilet bowl. Extreme relief usually accompanies release of a spanner, as does the occasional bloody anus, sudden weight loss and clogged toilet.

Mass consumption of sunflower seed shells can turn an ordinary spanner into a mace spanner. Resembling the spiky medieval weapon, mace spanners should be avoided at all costs.
"I just ate 4 bowls of granola. There's gonna be a spanner in the toilet tomorrow, I tell you."

Tom:"Dude, I just shat out a wingless 747."
Ron:"No, Tom, you shat a spanner. Good for you. Now unclog the toilet."

Ron:"I told you should have spit out all those sunflower seed shells, Tom."
Tom:"Fuck you, Ron. My intestines are being shredded as we speak. It's only a matter of time before this mace spanner turns my butthole into a bloody, fleshy origami fortune teller"
7. spanner
1. A useless fish poker player who thinks they are the best.

2. A bad poker hand.
He went on Tilt after going all in preflop with 2 4 offsuit and losing. What an Absolute Spanner!

What were you doing going all in preflop after 2 re raises with that 2 4 offsuit Spanner hand anyway? You deserved to lose.
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