A small town in Alaska as ugly as hell. The majority of the population have a meth lab in their basement. Soldotna has a horrible junior a hockey team called the brown bears. There is a Fred meyers there. Other than that there isn't much there.
Astronaut 1: what the hell is all of that shit spewing out of the earth?
Astronaut 2: Soldotna
A bustling town on the Kenai Peninsula in Alaska. Known for its absolute devotion to Sarah Palin and cheesy tourism promotions. It is a nice place to visit, but if you stick around you'll probably want to commit an hero.
Tourist: "Soldotna is the king salmon capital of the world!"