127
spawn of the devil. annoying, bitchy, over sheltering, and way too protective.

let's start with the typical soccer mom.
stay at home mom
usually blonde, bleached most likely.
caucasian
30-50 years old
'trophy wife'
has 2.6 kids.
bitchy.
whiny.
was in a sorority.

now hubby:
lawyer, doctor, or other high-paying job.
never home
barely knows kids
fucks secretary on 'business trips'.

daughter:
blonde
has a common name like ashley, jessica, britney, etc.
bimbo slut
is 8-12 years old, tries to act like a teenager but fails
teenybopper
popular
does dance

son:
blonde
has a common name like brandon, jason, aiden, etc.
little mr. athlete, does soccer, football, baseball, hockey, lacrosse, and basketball.
racist
10-14 years old
popular
spits everywhere

The family of mrs. soccer mom usually lives in a suburban neighborhood, a big house, and owns two cars. one of which is mom's car, a gas-guzzling suv that she drives obnoxiously, speeding off to baseball practice or dance.

mrs. soccer mom makes up her own esrb ratings:
OK: good
A: acceptable, 13+
N: not in my house! 18+

likes; kids bop, v chip, nail appointments, screaming at people to TURN THAT SATANIC MUSIC DOWN, THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!, etc.
is it really needed? soccer mom is a cunt faced minge.
by obamasux September 04, 2013
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128
Term applying to a suburban housewife who spends most of her time looking after her kids, taking them to and from school, little league sports games, music lessons, etc., in lieu of a career. There are essentially two kinds of soccer moms:
-The bad kind: the one most other soccer mom definitions on this site target. The ones that take rather conservative views and approaches to life, having negative perceptions on most forms of modern music, video games, TV shows that don't feature characters like Spongebob and Mickey Mouse, and any and all signs of non-conformity. The type that feel anything that isn't considered "family friendly" (at least by their standards) should be outlawed.
-The good kind: a soccer mom who hates being such. Chances are that the soccer mom life isn't what they want; either they had bigger dreams and ambitions that never took off or didn't get far, or who convinced themselves they were happy and didn't see the truth until it was too late. Much more tolerant of outside influences and non-family friendly things (so long as no one is forcing them onto their children). Soccer moms like these tend to escape their dull lives by reading romantic-often dirty-novels and frequently getting drunk on wine.
Not all Soccer Moms are stuck up bitches who think their children come before anything and everything else in this world.
by Gaaraofthedamned April 07, 2014
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129
Oooookay... First, agrees with most definitons here.

Second, about the one with all the thumbs down... This is about the PHRASE soccer mom. Just because you have kids and are involved in soccer doesn't make you a soccer mom in this respect. If there was a definiton for 'John Doe,' would all the John Does of the world be entitled to try and gut the writers who said 'A generic everyman?' Hopefuly not. 'Soccer mom' is like that, just a little more confusing. And while I agree that there are some dumb people here, recognise a figure of speech when you see one!
...

Oh, I need an example of the word soccer mom?

Ok.

Soccer mom.

The end.
by Tanon X November 02, 2005
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130
This is hilarious. I had no idea that people spent so much energy hating, of all people, a group of family dedicated women known as "soccer moms". I fit some definitions; I'm in my early 30's, drive a fuel inefficient SUV to lug my kids & their equiptment, the family dog and our mountain bikes or snow boards, for lack of a better choice of vehicles that can accomodate my lifestyle--but please, as if I had much choice. When a fuel efficient car that can accomodate my kids and our stuff is an option I'll buy it, and yes I'm Christian. But here's where I differ...I'd NEVER put any bumper stickers on my SUV cuz it ruins the paint ;) My kids are homeschooled anyway. YES homeschooled! They learn what they want to learn and what is not taught in school (and I am not talking about the Bible, I'm talking skills needed in the real world). I am not an anal retentive mom who censors everything. That's unrealistic. There are harsh realities that I don't shelter my kids from because I would be doing them a disservice. My 8 year old listens to everything (r&b and rap being his favorites), loves Jazz and Oldies too, just NOT country music. Because my child is exposed to the cursing in rap, plays "violent" games like Unreal Tournament, watches Harry Potter movies, etc. he is a well rounded kid. We do censor of course, but aren't tight assed. We are not our child's "Friend" either and don't let kids walk over us. We are REAL parents who set boundaries and discipline. Not with ludicrous "time outs" but w/ REAL consequences. We are not lazy parents. We are very involved parents. My family isn't white, we are bi-racial (black and mexican) so we, or rather, I, don't fit the bitchy Starbuck's drinking home maker who overprotects her angelic kids to the point of driving the kids away and other "colorful" descriptions. I've met the stereotypical "soccer mom", and I don't like her either. But we are not ALL like that. There are more NOT like that than there are those who are. Really.
In reality soccer moms have gotten a bad rep because of some "bad apples". I don't live off my husband's income. In fact, in addition to homeschooling and tutoring kids other than my own, I operate two businesses, manage our familiy's real estate investments, volunteer doing publicity and fundraising for various organizations (not the PTA--remember, we homeschool), and guess what, excellent driver; I don't myself, my kids, or others in harm's way with bad driving. If my kids are late for activities then they are late...better late than never.
by A REAL balanced soccer mom November 09, 2005
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131
A fat woman who kicks her stomach around like a ball. Not that she can help it but, her stomach is usually hanging over the belt line and over her legs. So when she walks it creates sort of a kicking movement. She is more than likely a mom, so when people see her they yell soccer mom.
"You see that?"

A fat woman has just walked out the store. She's struggling to get to her car.

"It LOOKS like she's kicking her stomach."

"Yeah, like a soccer ball."

"Yeah, she's a soccer mom."
by Chicago girl April 14, 2006
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132
A woman who has and or enjoys receiving a foot in her vagina is a soccer mom.
She took all five toes and then some what a soccer mom!
by Scumlovenbeaver June 03, 2010
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133
A Fundemental Christan Women who claims all who are not Christan is evil her husband is a veteran and she has bumper stickers saying "My Kid is a Honour role student" or "I'm a Soccer mom I can't handle it all" or "Land of the free because of the brave" They stay at home talk to other Soccer moms and are connected at the hip she was slutty in collage that's how she passed doing all the professors male and female. She Got Shit Faced 24/7 found her husband on a bar got married has 7 lil'angles who are total dicks. Named Brandon,Edmound, Harry, Kennedy for the girl, and Kaytlin and Howard who the boys will grow up and be criminals and the girls will repeat the cyle. The Father is a veteran from the Persian Gulf war he came back from Iraq boasting about Desert Storm victory makes SIX Figures at a job such as manager or lawyer or became a cop and makes jack shit. The Mom is afraid that her kids will embarrass her and she wants to make more friends so she drags the kids to soccer games and other sports to smoke a joint and gossip. The father is at the firm or VFW and cheating with the secretary at both. The Kids than Finnish a soccer game and go to karate and they think they can kill somebody because they are in Karate. Than it's 11:30 pm the kids come home do Home Work from Honours Algabera. Than have Bedtime. And the cyle resets than they bring a friend over the kid brings a IPod and the mom finds out and kicks the kid out.
Hey Dan's stupid soccer mom wont let him play GTA iv because it makes reference to the Yugoslav wars and Crime and Drugs
by Haxis288 December 08, 2013
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