106
A middle-upper class female who is 30-50 years old and constantly getting massages and other shit to try to look younger and sexier so their corporate husband stops screwing his secretary. Always , and i cant stress this more ALWAYS seen driving a huge-ass SVU in which a mile of gas is equal to a fuckin' flight trip from Washington D.C to Australia, usually responsible for accidents and wars over oil such as the Iraq War.Seen driving with a huge-mega-fuck size cup of coffee and blaberring publicly on her new phone and sliding in anew kidz bop 98887 cd for her kids to listen while driving them to choir and some shit like that . These abominations are responsible for ESRB, FCC, kidz bop and the Smile of a Child Network. Usually Christian and 99.9% Catholic, always bitchin' that catholism is the best religon to other Christians such as Baptists and Orthodox. Their world revoles around their kids usually named "Britney" or "Biff"- perfect little angels.The kids are usually forced to watch the Smile of a Child network, listen to Radio Disney.Always overprotected and usually never heard of the word "internet" and never watched fox because of their damn v-chip that their stupid-ass soccer mom was trying to figure out for 2 years. The kids grow up either to continue the horrid cycle or to become hardcore atheists and heroin junkies.
Example1

Dude1:Ya, im baptist dude.
Dude2:Ya, well thats fine with me
SOCCERMOM: WELL JESUS WAS CATHOLIC.
Dude1:No , he was christian dumb bitch.

Example2

Dude1: Wow , the new DeathShitMetal CD is out
Dude2:HOLY CRAP! only 9.99!
Dude1:Im'ma buy this shit now
SOCCERMOM: Excuse, what did you say young man?
-both guys have soundproof headphones on-
-soccer mom rips headphones off and says-
SOCCERMOM: IM TELLING YOUR MOTHERS , LISTEN TO SOMETHING GOOD LIKE CELINE DION
Dude1:No way, that bitch makes my ears bleed.
-soccermom covers kids ears-
Soccermom:How dare you say those things around my kids!
-guys pull out AK-47s and wipe out the whole soccer mom population-


by awsomeo2000 February 17, 2009
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107
noun.

Female with a strong type A personality with a skewed sense of civic responsibility coupled with a need to enforce political correctness on to others. Usually a hypocrite.

The term soccermom was not originally disparaging. It was used to refer to a Mom who takes her children as well as other children to their little league soccer game.

Soccermoms promote the following philosophies:

- winning is not important

- soccer is good because it is non violent

- no child should feel bad if they did not play well

- trophies awarded to every child

- removal of keeping score from the game

These philosophies are enforced in the brain of the soccermom to compensate for the fact that their kid does not play the game well.

Soccermom's are usually hypocrites as evidenced below:

- are vegetarians but cooks exotic dinners for the family that require eggs, fish and poultry

- believes in equality for all (but has no problem calling the driver ahead of her a 'chink' for cutting her off)
- supports PETA (enough said)
- supports Green Peace (but drives an SUV)
- a strong supporter of recycling only when convenient (if her blue box is full, the cans go in the garbage)

The worst soccermoms are the ones that have a bumper sticker on their SUV that reads: "IM A SOCCERMOM!"

Totally opposite of a Hockeymom

Soccermoms are the prime reason of cultural erosion in North America.
Billy: Hey can your Mom give me a ride to practice?

Johnny: Sure, I'll ask, she's taking 7 other kids too

Billy: Cool, she's a Soccermom, huh? Hey, does she still make you those rye and buckwheat sandwiches?

Johnny: ya, but I just throw them out

Billy: Yeah I would too. I got a steak in my lunch today.

Johnny: damn! That's cause your mom is a Hockey mom!

Billy: Yeah, my mom sets shit straight, unlike your Soccer mom!

Johnny (sobbing): yeeah..
by billyVandory February 14, 2010
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108
We must not fear the soccer mom for much longer, with gas prices going up they will go broke soon trying to fill up their stupid ass suv's at the gas station. As we speak these clumsy beasts are taking hairpin turns flipping over their top heavy cars and then bursting into flames. If the Soccer mom spawn have not completley self destructed themselves in the coming few months we must take action. Here are a few ways you can overcome and destory one if you come across one
-Stake through the heart
-silver bullets
-garlic
-removing or destroying the brain
-etc.
"walking down the street"

Me: Holy shit what is that

Soccer Mom: How dare you use that foul language in front of my kids!!!!!! *Claws expand*

Me: ahhhhhhh "Machete slice"

SM: GURGLE GURGLE
by element547 June 17, 2009
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109
A white middle or upper-middle class woman in her mid-20's to mid-40's with the following characteristics:

1. Her children usually have names like Zachary, Tyler, Kaitlin, Hannah, Hailey, or Dylan
2. Husband is a rather bland person that works as a family practice doctor, attorney, computers, selling pharmaceuticals, or other office drone.
3. Her children are always enrolled in at least 2 activities such as ballet, hockey, skiing, softball, and of course, soccer.
4. Favorite hobbies that don't involve her kids usually include drinking Starbucks, shopping at Kohl's or Old Navy, or gossiping with friends
5. Favorite restaurants are usually Chik-Fil- A, Taco Bell, Red Robin, and Chili's
6. Religious preference is usually Southern Baptist or Nondenominational Megachurch
7. They live primarily in California, Texas, Florida, Atlanta, D.C., Colorado, or Arizona suburbs
8. Vehicles driven are usually mid or large SUV's, Suburban's, or hatchbacks
9. Her children are either home schooled or attend a private or charter school
10. Her children are not allowed to watch PG-13 or R-rated movies, play any video games not rated E, play outside unattended, browse the internet without parental controls, or have contact with any adults outside of family, teachers, or coaches
by waspcoloredstain June 13, 2013
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110
in short.....a soccer mom is some overweight, SUV driving bastard who is often found at your local GameStop or EB games, bitching about Halo 3, saying that it's too fucking violent for her kids. This is also the type of mother who drags her little 'angels' to mcdonalds to buy them a happy meal instead of paddling them and giving them what they deserve.
The're often seen at soccer practice in their gas inefficient SUV that are the size of a Panzerkampfwagen VIII. They are the reason, the ONLY FUCKING reason Kidz Bop(Douche Bop)
is still a successful franchise. Oh and let's not forget the fact that Ms. MarySue is the reason why most car accident's actually tend to happen on the road, and she'll be the one at the voting booth to vote for John McCain, therefore we can see that supports senseless violence and she wants to waste more of her hubby's hard-earned money by buying all kinds of bullshit. Oh and lets not forget about her bratty-ass children, Meg and Dean. Apparently Meg is gonna become a prostitute and Dean is gonna get himself nvolved with MS-13.
Some dude: *at the movies going to buy a ticket to go see A Perfect Getaway*

Some girl: Oh man, i can't wait to go see this movie.
some dude: me neither babe, me neither.

soccer mom: um, you cant go to that movie, you're not old enough.

some dude: im 18 and she's 17.

soccer mom: why dont you rent tickets to go see Aliens in the Attic.

some dude: omg i hate that fuckibg movie, it's for babies

soccer mom: *covers childrens ears* dont you say that word in front of my sweet little angels!!

some girl: lets make-out.

some dude:*makes out with some girl*

soccer mom: OHMYGOODNESSSTOPTHAT!!! come on kids we're leaving!!!
by divinedemigod August 13, 2009
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111
married woman with children between about 6 and 10 who drives a large car such as a station wagon, and spends most of your time shunting her kids and kids' friends around. Often takes an active interst in the kids activities.
she used to be a wild one but now that she's got kids, she's become a soccer mom
by Nursie November 14, 2006
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112
A womans so breasts are so saggy when she walks she hits them with her knees
i saw a brode walking across the lawn i thought she was a soccer mom player she was kicking her tits around.
by Chavela September 21, 2006
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