106
A white middle-to-upper-middle class woman, generally aged 30-55. Has the requisite 2.3 kids. Usually the product of a loveless childhood and an equally loveless marriage as the trophy wife of an up-and-coming executive or professional. Motto is "my kids are my life". Refers to her kids as "my Precious Little Angels" (PLAs) or "God's Gifts to Me" (GGTMs), and believes the entire world exists just for the benefit of her PLAs. Terrified that child molesters are lurking behind every bush, and that gays are determined to "recruit" her PLAs. Obsessed with whatever is the latest "danger to kids" being promoted that week on Oprah or Dr. Phil or the latest Parenting Magazine. The Soccer Mom is constantly badgering school officials and politicians, promoting the latest "nanny law/regulation" to protect the GGTMs. Usually fundie or conserviative Christian with a cult-like obsession, and makes sure her PLAs participate in choir and church soccer camps (hence the term: "Soccer Mom"). Extremely controlling of the social life of the GGTMs, repressing all independent thought, and all signs of non-conformity. The GGTMs teen years are marked by Ritalin and trips to high priced child psychologists. The PLA daughter often grows up to be an XXX rated porn star, while the PLA son becomes a transvestite drummer in a punk rock band.
The Soccer Mom has been the artistic inspiraton for outstanding movies such as "Diary of a Mad Housewife" and "The Betty Broderick Story". Also classic songs such as "Harper Valley PTA".
by frantic1971 March 25, 2010

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107
noun.

Female with a strong type A personality with a skewed sense of civic responsibility coupled with a need to enforce political correctness on to others. Usually a hypocrite.

The term soccermom was not originally disparaging. It was used to refer to a Mom who takes her children as well as other children to their little league soccer game.

Soccermoms promote the following philosophies:

- winning is not important

- soccer is good because it is non violent

- no child should feel bad if they did not play well

- trophies awarded to every child

- removal of keeping score from the game

These philosophies are enforced in the brain of the soccermom to compensate for the fact that their kid does not play the game well.

Soccermom's are usually hypocrites as evidenced below:

- are vegetarians but cooks exotic dinners for the family that require eggs, fish and poultry

- believes in equality for all (but has no problem calling the driver ahead of her a 'chink' for cutting her off)
- supports PETA (enough said)
- supports Green Peace (but drives an SUV)
- a strong supporter of recycling only when convenient (if her blue box is full, the cans go in the garbage)

The worst soccermoms are the ones that have a bumper sticker on their SUV that reads: "IM A SOCCERMOM!"

Totally opposite of a Hockeymom

Soccermoms are the prime reason of cultural erosion in North America.
Billy: Hey can your Mom give me a ride to practice?

Johnny: Sure, I'll ask, she's taking 7 other kids too

Billy: Cool, she's a Soccermom, huh? Hey, does she still make you those rye and buckwheat sandwiches?

Johnny: ya, but I just throw them out

Billy: Yeah I would too. I got a steak in my lunch today.

Johnny: damn! That's cause your mom is a Hockey mom!

Billy: Yeah, my mom sets shit straight, unlike your Soccer mom!

Johnny (sobbing): yeeah..
by billyVandory February 14, 2010

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108
A womans so breasts are so saggy when she walks she hits them with her knees
i saw a brode walking across the lawn i thought she was a soccer mom player she was kicking her tits around.
by Chavela September 21, 2006

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109
A psychopath who is hell bent on enslaving her children and turning them into something they weren't as a kid. They freak out if you play games like Mortal Kombat, listen to ANYTHING that isn't their kid-friendly songs/remixes. They despise porn but yet most of them read Fifty Shades of Grey.

Their husbands are always regretting their marriage and turns to pleasing himself because his wife closed up shop years ago.
Person 1: So what music do you like?
Person 2 I like Linkin Park but-
Raging soccer mom: DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT NAME THEY ARE DEVIL'S MUSIC!! *Pushes kids aside*
Person 2: Shut the fuck up and go back to whatever hell hole you climbed out of you cunt!!!
Raging soccer mom:afsqgickiubervh,3:2:2$hhuwrfhiufew;78)feujkbvvsebevreubilvriun34;87);2 *Massive explosion*
Person 1: My god are they all like that?
Person 2: Yeah...
by Crazy915 October 17, 2012

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110
A progression from the shocker and surprise, but not quite the mini van. This consists of one up front with three little ones in the back.
After receiving the soccer mom, my girlfriend knew her destiny in life.
by spiralhelix June 21, 2011

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111
Definition #45 portrays very well how the "Soccer mom" lives/acts.They have that "better than you" attitude.Most enjoy the thrills of the filthy pirate and fish eye.
But that can be a good thing.
That prim n'proper soccer mom got hit with the filthy pirate!Dumb bitch!!
by big alien December 01, 2005

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112
A 25 to 45 year old woman, usually caucasian, who drives her "precious angels" around in a giant miny van. They censor anything fun such as gta and cod. Internet is what she calls "hell" because she's too stupid to teach them internet safety. Her children are a girl and a boy, both of whom got to some after school activity or another. They are usually dumb, slutty, and a bitch/asshole when they grow up. Her husband is some lawyer or a doctor who makes more more in a week than some people do in 3 months which is a crying shame. He is always on a "buisiness trip", fucking his secretary. The children can't see or hear ANYTHING BAD or they will grow up to be "poisened and scarred". I think they shelter them too much, they need a healthy dose of reality. And so do the parents.
I was sitting in the mall food court with my friend, talking about GTA SA and how I stole cars and killed people and stuff. The soccer mom was like, DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF MY KIDS, and I was like, it's just reality. You gotta accept it. Go some where else then.

Fucking stupid soccer mom
by Tea MCBAGGER June 12, 2011

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