A middle-upper class female who is 30-50 years old and constantly getting massages and other shit to try to look younger and sexier so their corporate husband stops screwing his secretary. Always , and i cant stress this more ALWAYS seen driving a huge-ass SVU in which a mile of gas is equal to a fuckin' flight trip from Washington D.C to Australia, usually responsible for accidents and wars over oil such as the Iraq War.Seen driving with a huge-mega-fuck size cup of coffee and blaberring publicly on her new phone and sliding in anew kidz bop 98887 cd for her kids to listen while driving them to choir and some shit like that . These abominations are responsible for ESRB, FCC, kidz bop and the Smile of a Child Network. Usually Christian and 99.9% Catholic, always bitchin' that catholism is the best religon to other Christians such as Baptists and Orthodox. Their world revoles around their kids usually named "Britney" or "Biff"- perfect little angels.The kids are usually forced to watch the Smile of a Child network, listen to Radio Disney.Always overprotected and usually never heard of the word "internet" and never watched fox because of their damn v-chip that their stupid-ass soccer mom was trying to figure out for 2 years. The kids grow up either to continue the horrid cycle or to become hardcore atheists and heroin junkies.

Dude1:Ya, im baptist dude.
Dude2:Ya, well thats fine with me
Dude1:No , he was christian dumb bitch.


Dude1: Wow , the new DeathShitMetal CD is out
Dude2:HOLY CRAP! only 9.99!
Dude1:Im'ma buy this shit now
SOCCERMOM: Excuse, what did you say young man?
-both guys have soundproof headphones on-
-soccer mom rips headphones off and says-
Dude1:No way, that bitch makes my ears bleed.
-soccermom covers kids ears-
Soccermom:How dare you say those things around my kids!
-guys pull out AK-47s and wipe out the whole soccer mom population-

by awsomeo2000 February 17, 2009
A soccer mom is an overly-protective mother whose role is to live the life of a child herself. She is usually shallow, ill-informed, self-indulgent, insecure. She assumes that “family value” kids like hers can do no wrong. She has never elevated herself from the high school focus of being popular, being “seen”, being “cute.” Her role in life is to “fit in,” her “thinking” is “cliché driven,” she is “family value” focused, but has no real understanding about what the term means and would be at a loss to try to define it. She feels sorry for those who do not have soccer mom credentials, who have no suv, no children, no “fashionably family valued” family like hers. Her kids are an extension of herself, so she herself is a kid, and she molds them, transports them, educates them to think in the same shallow kid-like way she thinks. She is a “control freek” at heart with a mindset that is shallow and mindlessly routine. She doesn’t have the courage, the depth to express herself outside the “group think” of her soccer mom associates, for as in her high school days, she still seeks esteem from others by being popular, one of the gang. Wars, pestilence, poverty, the environment are issues that pass her by and always will. She is a robot, a child who has grown older but not wiser, an american dream tragedy culture has promoted, not having the depth to see or understand the sickness it has fostered.
by zetttt November 15, 2009
The type of woman you'd see driving in front of you on the freeway at her own pace, with a "my child is a honor student at (insert school name here)" bumper sticker and gives you the finger when you pass her up. The type of woman who has worked with her kind to control what kids say to the point where saying words like "crap" and phrases like "shut up" are inappropriate. The type of woman who has worked effortlessly to dumb down once great networks like Nickelodeon and Disney Channel to where a show about a spoiled bitch girl that has everything she wants is the only thing deemed worthy for her kids to watch. This type f woman who brain washes her kids, sucking their souls so they are nothing more than pop culture slaves that give untalented whores like Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber undeserved fame. The type of woman who encourages her daughter to dress like sluts and act as bimbos rather than developing and expressing their own individuality. The type of woman who looks down on woman who work to feed their kids and allow their kids personal freedom. This type of woman deserves no voice or say in anything because she is a waste of cells and has n real role in society.
Soccer Mom: My daughter is going with her friends to a Justin Bieber concert, he's the thing they're into these days.
Real Mom: Mine is going to alice in chains and soundgarden concert, she like those bands because people actually remember them after five years.
Soccer Mom: Ugh, your daughter is a misfit, I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out like you, she'll never be like mine
Real Mom: (laughs in her face) And that's supposed to be a bad thing?
by tech kid January 25, 2011
30-50 year old moms, usually living in the suburbs. They usually have about 2-3 kids, and drive them around everywhere in large ass gas guzzling SUVs with bumper stickers saying "My little fuck of a child is an honor roll student at ____ Middle School". Apparently it's impossible to fit two fucking kids in anything less than a car that seats seven.

They stay at home most of the time, working around the house, hauling their kids everywhere to anything like soccer to fucking astronaut school. Oh, and about their kids: The children of soccer moms are their fucking pride and joy, their "angels". They must have the best grades, be the most popular, be the best at soccer, you name it. The kids must be shielded from anything bad, like the occasional "hell" from that sitcom you watch to sex ed at school. They lack freedom of expression as the moms must not let them be able to do anything exciting in life, because apparently going on the internet turns them in to bad people. Which is funny, because half the time they grow up to be lonely shitholes that die from binge drinking or ODing on drugs. So they are not allowed to watch any TV shows rated over TV-G, can only go on the internet for 30 minutes each week with super parental controls turned on, and cannot play any video games over the rating E, even as teenagers.

Religion: The soccer mom is a hard core christian, and anything that is not 100% christian in any way is considered satanic, like TV shows, and ESPECIALLY music. Yep, they're only allowed to listen to boring country christian music shit.

Soccer moms don't do shit besides destroy the environment, take up space, and raise children totally wrong. Their husbands on the other hand, make $80K a year with some job he's always at, most likely fucking his hot co-worker the whole time.

Fuck soccer moms, they are the scum of this Earth and are a disgrace to the name of freedom and expression.
Look at that soccer mom, what a fucking bitch
by wtfwaffles September 14, 2009
-a single unit out of an army of hitler clones that went horribly wrong
the modern mg42 can also be referred to as a soccer mom's asscrack
by noobinessthe3rd August 15, 2009
in short.....a soccer mom is some overweight, SUV driving bastard who is often found at your local GameStop or EB games, bitching about Halo 3, saying that it's too fucking violent for her kids. This is also the type of mother who drags her little 'angels' to mcdonalds to buy them a happy meal instead of paddling them and giving them what they deserve.
The're often seen at soccer practice in their gas inefficient SUV that are the size of a Panzerkampfwagen VIII. They are the reason, the ONLY FUCKING reason Kidz Bop(Douche Bop)
is still a successful franchise. Oh and let's not forget the fact that Ms. MarySue is the reason why most car accident's actually tend to happen on the road, and she'll be the one at the voting booth to vote for John McCain, therefore we can see that supports senseless violence and she wants to waste more of her hubby's hard-earned money by buying all kinds of bullshit. Oh and lets not forget about her bratty-ass children, Meg and Dean. Apparently Meg is gonna become a prostitute and Dean is gonna get himself nvolved with MS-13.
Some dude: *at the movies going to buy a ticket to go see A Perfect Getaway*

Some girl: Oh man, i can't wait to go see this movie.
some dude: me neither babe, me neither.

soccer mom: um, you cant go to that movie, you're not old enough.

some dude: im 18 and she's 17.

soccer mom: why dont you rent tickets to go see Aliens in the Attic.

some dude: omg i hate that fuckibg movie, it's for babies

soccer mom: *covers childrens ears* dont you say that word in front of my sweet little angels!!

some girl: lets make-out.

some dude:*makes out with some girl*

soccer mom: OHMYGOODNESSSTOPTHAT!!! come on kids we're leaving!!!
by divinedemigod August 13, 2009
A white middle-to-upper-middle class woman, generally aged 30-55. Has the requisite 2.3 kids. Usually the product of a loveless childhood and an equally loveless marriage as the trophy wife of an up-and-coming executive or professional. Motto is "my kids are my life". Refers to her kids as "my Precious Little Angels" (PLAs) or "God's Gifts to Me" (GGTMs), and believes the entire world exists just for the benefit of her PLAs. Terrified that child molesters are lurking behind every bush, and that gays are determined to "recruit" her PLAs. Obsessed with whatever is the latest "danger to kids" being promoted that week on Oprah or Dr. Phil or the latest Parenting Magazine. The Soccer Mom is constantly badgering school officials and politicians, promoting the latest "nanny law/regulation" to protect the GGTMs. Usually fundie or conserviative Christian with a cult-like obsession, and makes sure her PLAs participate in choir and church soccer camps (hence the term: "Soccer Mom"). Extremely controlling of the social life of the GGTMs, repressing all independent thought, and all signs of non-conformity. The GGTMs teen years are marked by Ritalin and trips to high priced child psychologists. The PLA daughter often grows up to be an XXX rated porn star, while the PLA son becomes a transvestite drummer in a punk rock band.
The Soccer Mom has been the artistic inspiraton for outstanding movies such as "Diary of a Mad Housewife" and "The Betty Broderick Story". Also classic songs such as "Harper Valley PTA".
by frantic1971 March 25, 2010
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