A soccer mom is typically a white suburban woman aged from 30-50. They are usually picking their kids up from school and driving them to the various activities they participate in. Usually seen with an SUV, a coffee and a cell phone yelling at someone. She owns a two-story house with her husband and two/three kids with a picket fence in the front yard. They are crazy Christians who believe that anyone or anything that isn't Christian is cursed by the devil. They blame rap/rock/metal music, the Internet and video games for all the problems in the world. They believe they are always right and that their opinion matters most. They are often seen telling others what to do. They are one of the people most responsible for the dumbing down of today's society. Her kids live a life planned for them. They have to get straight A's in school. They are forced to participate in soccer, hockey and many other sports. They are not allowed to watch any movies rated higher than PG. They are not allowed to play any video games, other than a Nintendo Wii for an hour a day. They have no Internet access, the computer is for homework only. After being forced to listen to Sheryl Crow, Shania Twain and Creed all of their life, they end up becoming rebels the moment they start high school. They do drugs, they get into fights, and start bullying others. Little does the soccer mom know that her perfect little daughter is fucking the captain of her school's football team. Soccer moms make me sick.
That soccer mom yelled at me because I was playing Metallica full blast! She said it was the creation of the devil...
by Marco K. May 27, 2010
Typically middle-class or upper middle class, white mothers that live in nice houses in the suburbs. Almost always a superficial christian of 30-45 years of age. Often proud, and super-dominant, because their husbands are successful.
Yet also tormented inside, because they know they're worthless and their lives are meaningless.

Has perfect, wonderful children that must be protected from everything that isn't christian, middle class and suburban.

She drives her children and often other kids around in a huge-ass SUV, suburban or minivan. Bad driving skills, and turns into a rude fucking bitch when you complain about their dangerous SHIT driving.

These fucking bitches cannot stand anything that isn't G-rated. That means 99.999% of music, movies, videogames and the internet are OUT. These women are the downfall of society. They pretend to be perfect and have perfect fucking little brat children, but are often cheating on their busy husbands, commiting adultery with other men, seeking whatever they think they don't have, and therefore destroying other families.

Self absorbed CUNT.
The fucking cunt soccer mom I saw driving through at McDonalds, yelling at everyone in front of her to hurry up because her huge-ass FAT FUCK children were hungry.
by airraid May 10, 2008
Usually refers to a white middle aged female. She is either divorced or quickly on her way to being divorced because no self respecting man will put up with her very long. She realizes that although she tries desperately to be everything from super house wife and super mother to super business exec- that she can do none of these things good so she needs a man.... but can't keep one. She is usually on the prowl for a new fake dad to help raise her brood of children from all of her failed relationships with men who have kicked her to the curb.

She usually self medicates herself, trying to drown out her soul calling her a failed prostitute as she shuttles her tribe of bastard children from activity to activity in a minnie van or SUV that is entirely to big for her to drive safely. Said vehicle may or may not be financed by a current or former significant other (victim), just as is her crumbling lifestyle which constantly reminds her that her time is running out.

She tries to dress and act like women half her age but can't quite pull that look off anymore. But does it anyway and looks foolish except when in a pack of others like her.

Many of this ilk often end up cold and alone. Even their plethora of fatherless offspring usually leave them in search of sanity and the promise of normalcy.
Man at a bar says to another- "Sorry I'm late bro. Some man hunting fat assed soccer mom with a bunch of kids in aS.M.A.Vcrashed me on the way over. What a dumb cunt".
by The_Dragon March 12, 2008
Stupid,arogant whiny bitches like the person who wrote definition #87 who think they're brave because they can sware on teh web (If anyone corrects me 'cause they're stupid enough cunts to think that was supposed to read 'the web', I'll shoot them), even though they can't spell the word 'curse'.
Joe: Really? Some dumbass soccer mom missspelled 'curse'?
Bob: Yeah, dude.
Joe:TWICE?
Bob: YEAH
Joe: AH HA HA! WHAT A STUPID CUNT
by Wouldn't you like to know?. November 08, 2007
A soccer mom is typically a 40 year old, Caucasian, middle-class suburban woman. She is often seen driving an SUV everywhere, taking her kids back and forth from the many activities they participate in after school. They typically have a family of a husband and three kids, and own a two-story house with a picket fence in the front yard. They are overprotective parents who blame rap/rock/metal music, the Internet and video games for all of today's problems in the world. They drill their Christian bullshit into their three kids since child birth, and look down on anybody who doesn't have the same beliefs and opinions as they do. They censor out a lot of stuff yet little do they know, their kids are going to find all of it out in a couple of years anyway. The children of the typical soccer mom are forced to participate in loads of sports/activities after school, even though they may not like them. They aren't allowed to play any other video games other than a Nintendo Wii for only an hour a day. They have no Internet access, other than Brainpop.com and other educational sites. They must go to church every Sunday. If they disobey all of these requirements, they are grounded for a week and sent to their rooms. The soccer mom demographic is mainly the ones responsible for all of the unnecessary censors that are out in the media today. Soccer moms make me sick.
"That soccer mom over there just yelled at me because I was playing Metallica on my iPod at full blast!"

"Wow man, what a bitch."
by Chupacabra1234567 May 18, 2010
A middle-upper class female who is 30-50 years old and constantly getting massages and other shit to try to look younger and sexier so their corporate husband stops screwing his secretary. Always , and i cant stress this more ALWAYS seen driving a huge-ass SVU in which a mile of gas is equal to a fuckin' flight trip from Washington D.C to Australia, usually responsible for accidents and wars over oil such as the Iraq War.Seen driving with a huge-mega-fuck size cup of coffee and blaberring publicly on her new phone and sliding in anew kidz bop 98887 cd for her kids to listen while driving them to choir and some shit like that . These abominations are responsible for ESRB, FCC, kidz bop and the Smile of a Child Network. Usually Christian and 99.9% Catholic, always bitchin' that catholism is the best religon to other Christians such as Baptists and Orthodox. Their world revoles around their kids usually named "Britney" or "Biff"- perfect little angels.The kids are usually forced to watch the Smile of a Child network, listen to Radio Disney.Always overprotected and usually never heard of the word "internet" and never watched fox because of their damn v-chip that their stupid-ass soccer mom was trying to figure out for 2 years. The kids grow up either to continue the horrid cycle or to become hardcore atheists and heroin junkies.
Example1

Dude1:Ya, im baptist dude.
Dude2:Ya, well thats fine with me
SOCCERMOM: WELL JESUS WAS CATHOLIC.
Dude1:No , he was christian dumb bitch.

Example2

Dude1: Wow , the new DeathShitMetal CD is out
Dude2:HOLY CRAP! only 9.99!
Dude1:Im'ma buy this shit now
SOCCERMOM: Excuse, what did you say young man?
-both guys have soundproof headphones on-
-soccer mom rips headphones off and says-
SOCCERMOM: IM TELLING YOUR MOTHERS , LISTEN TO SOMETHING GOOD LIKE CELINE DION
Dude1:No way, that bitch makes my ears bleed.
-soccermom covers kids ears-
Soccermom:How dare you say those things around my kids!
-guys pull out AK-47s and wipe out the whole soccer mom population-


by awsomeo2000 February 17, 2009
Overgrown little girls who let emotion run their lives and are the sole justification for repealing the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution.
Thanks to soccer moms, we got eight years of bill fucking clinton and probably another 10 years of constant threats to our country.
by dammit janet July 03, 2003

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