A white middle or upper-middle class woman in her mid-20's to mid-40's with the following characteristics:

1. Her children usually have names like Zachary, Tyler, Kaitlin, Hannah, Hailey, or Dylan
2. Husband is a rather bland person that works as a family practice doctor, attorney, computers, selling pharmaceuticals, or other office drone.
3. Her children are always enrolled in at least 2 activities such as ballet, hockey, skiing, softball, and of course, soccer.
4. Favorite hobbies that don't involve her kids usually include drinking Starbucks, shopping at Kohl's or Old Navy, or gossiping with friends
5. Favorite restaurants are usually Chik-Fil- A, Taco Bell, Red Robin, and Chili's
6. Religious preference is usually Southern Baptist or Nondenominational Megachurch
7. They live primarily in California, Texas, Florida, Atlanta, D.C., Colorado, or Arizona suburbs
8. Vehicles driven are usually mid or large SUV's, Suburban's, or hatchbacks
9. Her children are either home schooled or attend a private or charter school
10. Her children are not allowed to watch PG-13 or R-rated movies, play any video games not rated E, play outside unattended, browse the internet without parental controls, or have contact with any adults outside of family, teachers, or coaches
Soccer mom
by waspcoloredstain June 13, 2013
Bitches who (like Jack Thompson) hate violent video games/ movies and try to censor anything and everything that is evil and/or satanic. She usally drives a huge-ass Minivan and/or SUV. She doesn't buy her kids T rated games, let alone M and AO rated games. To her, up to PG is the only movie rating her kids can watch. She also has an utter hatred for anime. Her kids are usually on the honor roll and participates in many after-school activities as possible (usually soccer). Some other activities her little fuckers might be in is Football, Basketball, Baseball, Band, etc. She sometimes volunteers at their kid's school and goes on school trips with them. Their home computer is installed with NetNanny or some other shit program that blocks "non-approprite material/content". The TV is installed with the V-Chip and has every TV rating show blocked except for TV-Y.
Soccer Moms suck and should die.
by ChaosWolf May 07, 2006
A Soccer Mom is a 35-40 year old women generally found in an affluent suburb of a medium to large size metropolitan area. They come from white (not Asian, Latin, or European) American families who decided long ago that marrying into another race was just not for them. They are always upper middle class, as in they are to rich to work, but to poor to belong to an exclusive country club, or hire a nanny for their fucking annoying kids. Due to this financial dilemma, soccer moms generally find that there really isn't a set goal in their lives for them to achieve, therefore they devote themselves to the complete manipulation of their kids lives.

Their Kids - Generally average looking kids who are taught to from birth to believe that they are mommy's little baby, and in no way in hell can they ever do anything wrong. They are avid members of their sunday school, where they learn to memorize the entire new testament. At school, they are always extremely polite to their teachers, and love to share with their classmates.

As they get older however, they start to change. The boys realize once they hit high school, that their moms are the reason they haven't gotten laid, and generally develop a pattern of smoking excessive weed, drinking, and downloading unheard of amounts of porn. Due to this the soccer mom usually casts her son aside, and look to her angel daughter - usually named Kaitlyn. The daughter and mother unlike the son, develop a stronger relationship, in which the soccer mom attempts to become her daughters 'best friend'. They go shopping together, talk about all the cute guys in the daughters school, and all the drama that is taking place between the daughter, and her ditsy little friends - all named Jill. This relationship continues until the soccer mom comes home after a tiresome PTA meeting, and finds her daughter getting railed by some football player named Michael.. At this point, the soccer mom realizes that her little baby is growing up, and they start to develop a similar, but more disgusting mature relationship.

The Husband - Generally a tall, handsome guy who drives a silver 4 door Honda. They happen to work in a cubicle on the 31st floor of a high rise corporate building, filing insurance papers or something along those lines. They dress everyday in a fairly cheap suite when they go to work, and at home they are found to be sporting the latest attire from the Nike Golf lineup. Always they are found to have some boyish hobby that the soccer mom considers cute, like collecting limited edition football cards, or vintage 1950's records. Unknown to the wife(soccer mom) they secretly hate their life as they never aspired to their dream of being a professional sailing instructor, and in turn, arrive home late from work 3 nights a week after fucking their secretaries.

This concludes the life of a soccer mom. Take caution when driving through suburban neighborhoods, vacationing in Florida, or during November elections (if you're not voting for Hillary - god bless) as you just might be caught, and told that you're the reason America is going to the dogs.
While on vacation in Florida, Soccer Mom Susan cries out in grief that she forgot to reschedule that months PTA party "High Fives for Hillary." - Fucking Bitch.
by dontbeasoccermom April 16, 2008
Dumb whores who have nothing better to do than drive their son to soccer practice, bitch to the clerk in the EB Games/GameStop store at the mall about how violent video games are "Polluting our youth's minds" and orders them to take them off the shelves and no longer sell them, and get in car wrecks with their gigantic minivan/SUV.
Soccer Moms are dumb.
by Novasuna August 09, 2006
Generally a middle-class to high-class Caucasian woman, 30-50 years of age. She drives a minivan. Doesn't give a damn that all the other kids at their "sweet little angel's" school think they are arrogant brats because they have been raised by a soccer mom. Forbids their kids to listen to any kind of music except Kidz Bop, the suckiest band of all time. Has all the channels blocked on TV except for PBS Kids. Even Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network (also sucky channels) are unsafe because the characters are mean to their siblings. (Welcome to reality, soccer moms.) Won't let kids see any movie that's PG-13 or R. If it's PG, she must watch it first. Involves her kids in many after school activities. Won't let her kids use the Internet because you know every website on the Net is crawling with rapists and child molesters and sexual predators and criminals and robbers and murderers. Ugh!
I'm a teenager. So I was spending some of my birthday money and walked out of the store one day with a see-through bag loaded with a pack of tampons, a few shaving razors, some shaving cream, Green Day's Bullet in a Bible, season 6 of Seinfeld, a miniskirt, and a box of movie popcorn. A soccer mom comes up to me and says "Why do you use tampons? Why do you shave your legs? You're too young. Green Day? Have you ever listened to Kidz Bop? They're wonderful. Seinfeld is so inappropriate. Why don't you watch Arthur? You shouldn't wear a miniskirt. And do you know how many calories are in that bow of popcorn?" I told her, "I'm a teenager, moron, so I should be using tampons and shaving my legs. Kidz Bop sucks and so does Arthur, miniskirts are not inappropriate, and I don't watch my weight. I'm only 75 pounds. So SCREW YOU!" She covered her kid's ears and told me not to use that language. I repeated, "SCREW YOU!" and walked away.
by Someone, March 02, 2006
Derogatory and insulting term for a female yuppie.

She drives a minivan or an SUV. While she drives, she watches movies on the DVD player. She holds a Starbucks Coffee and babbles on the cell phone while driving.

She has an attitude of entitlement, and is even more pushy than a New Yawwk Jew. She names her daughter Cassidy, Madison, Taylor, Bergman, or Sasquatch. She always votes for Hillary Clinton because she is wealthy enough to shield her income from taxes. If her name is Karen or Judy, she changes it to Taylor or some other masculine name.
Jackson is a soccer mom. Stay out of her way when she drives, and hang on to your wallet when she votes.
by Delicious Tuna Wanda September 25, 2007
The most loathesome creature to ever walk this earth.
One reason being that they're the cause of so many good anime series being severely butchered when dubbed, such as Rockman.EXE (MegaMan NT Warrior) and One Piece.
by Anime Master ZERO July 06, 2005
Retarded bitches who would protect their children from Video Games, Movies, Anime, Internet and just anything that contains the words hell or damn (I know these aren't swear words of course). They would yell at anybody who mentions anything about them. Even at a librarian who just lets someone know that none of that content is available (I'm glad I don't have such a overprotective mother).
Me: Excuse me but is there any manga here?

Librarian: Sorry. This library does not carry manga or anim...


Librarian: SHHHHHH!!!!

Soccer Mom: *Who was dumb enough to think that the librarian was going to say the word "shit"* DON'T YOU SAY THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE!

Me: *takes soccer mom outside, 50 feet away from the library and casts Blazemost (a Dragon Warrior spell)* Silence is golden bitch!
by StraightFMan February 14, 2005
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