A soccer mom is typically a white suburban woman aged from 30-50. They are usually picking their kids up from school and driving them to the various activities they participate in. Usually seen with an SUV, a coffee and a cell phone yelling at someone. She owns a two-story house with her husband and two/three kids with a picket fence in the front yard. They are crazy Christians who believe that anyone or anything that isn't Christian is cursed by the devil. They blame rap/rock/metal music, the Internet and video games for all the problems in the world. They believe they are always right and that their opinion matters most. They are often seen telling others what to do. They are one of the people most responsible for the dumbing down of today's society. Her kids live a life planned for them. They have to get straight A's in school. They are forced to participate in soccer, hockey and many other sports. They are not allowed to watch any movies rated higher than PG. They are not allowed to play any video games, other than a Nintendo Wii for an hour a day. They have no Internet access, the computer is for homework only. After being forced to listen to Sheryl Crow, Shania Twain and Creed all of their life, they end up becoming rebels the moment they start high school. They do drugs, they get into fights, and start bullying others. Little does the soccer mom know that her perfect little daughter is fucking the captain of her school's football team. Soccer moms make me sick.
That soccer mom yelled at me because I was playing Metallica full blast! She said it was the creation of the devil...
by Marco K. May 27, 2010
1. The reason we have little nuisances like the ESRB RIAA and FCC
2. Any DECENT person's worst nightmare (right next to Billy Ray Cyrus)
3. Mothers who think that by making there kids slaves to pop culture, it would make up for the fact that they live shitty, cocaine-infested lives.
Teen: *Buying M-Rated game*

Soccer Mom: You're not 17. You have to be 17 or older to buy that game.

Cashier: Sorry, I can't sell this to you.

Soccer Mom: Games like this poison your mind.

Teen: No, assholes like you poison my mind.

Soccer Moms are like AOL cds, for every one that you get rid of, 10 more spring up.
by PoserSmasher March 12, 2005
a parking lot hazzard
"soccer moms.....oooooright!" --quagmyer
by coldcheese March 22, 2004
An American bourgeois woman of the post baby boom generation, who, instead of reaping the benefits of the sexual revolution that her foremothers and sisters fought so hard for, sold out to the new patriarchy which promised stability in the form of white suburban neighborhoods, wordSUVwords, drive-through wordStarbuckswords and yearly trips on Carnival Cruise Line. The only dose of women's lib that transpired through their lifestyle is their endorsement of the the typically male dominated tradition of sport (usually soccer) onto their daughters. But don't be fooled - the fact that these women refer to themselves as "soccer MOMS" only reaffirms their sociological status as mere vessels for the incubation of their progeny.
I just got back from my high school reunion, and all the old cheerleaders are now lard-assed soccer moms.
by Anonymous July 23, 2003
Middle Aged Women who have no real purpose in life except to watch the kids and piss everybody else off. They are often seen in Wal-Mart.They are usually seen wearing Holiday-themed sweaters and shopping. They are allowed to bring there bad a$$ kids anywhere they want to,but if your listening to anything other than Radio Disneythey act bitchy and wanna act like they're your parents. Also seen driving unesssarily huge SUV. The only people who try to "Bargin" with there children, instead of disciplining them.
Man:*listening to Snoop Dogg*

Soccer Mom: Can you turn that ruckus down, there's children present.

Man:Turns down music slightly*


Man: I'm a grown ass man

Soccer Mom: TURN IT DOWN NOW! *Gets in mans face*

Soccer Mom: *leaving*

Man: You know what they say..you can't teach an old bitch new tricks

Man: Get
by New Jerseyite August 21, 2004
An American mother living in the suburbs who spends most of her time driving her school-aged children from one athletic activity to another, often over scheduling them. Typically White, upper middle class, probably college-educated, most drive SUVs and talk on the cellphone while driving making them prone to cause traffic accidents.
Gigi is your classic Soccermom, she drives her SUV like a battle ship and I wouldn't want to be on the road next to her!
by OneBadAsp October 21, 2006
A 30 to 50 year old woman, usually straight, whose whole life revolves around their children and "empowering" themselves by trying to censor anything even remotely violent, vulgar, or bad in any way. Some have tattoos just to show how tough and empowered they are.

Their children are usually maladjusted due to their parents not letting them see anything remotely "bad" or vulgar, even when they are teenagers.

As implied by the name, their children play sports, usually soccer. Soccer moms can be identified by a generic sticker on the back of their car, or a "My child is an honor student at <insert school> Middle School" bumper sticker.

They also drive SUVs even though they do not need them, and cause many accidents. They are very active in their children's school activities.
That soccer mom is always at the PTA meetings!
by Luigi30 November 04, 2004
A burden to the human race, a scourge of humanity, a disgusting demon from Hell. The reason for such atrocities like the ESRB, v-chips, and the freakin' FCC. Soccer moms are a subspecies of humans, like monkeys and chimpanzees. They are often middle-aged and blonde, but they act like they're 20 and they often wear track pants to show of their disgusting hippo-ass that will make you vomit. They think their little, bratty, teeny boppers spawned from the radioactive shit from the asshole of Satan. Seriously, their kids are like demons! Soccer moms often force their offspring to do some sort of after school (soccer, baseball, football, etc.). Soccer moms also have very strict rules.
Me: *listening to Banana 101.5 in my Dad's car while he gets some smokes and beer*
Soccer Mom: You turn that awful garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it up*
Me: Fuck you.
SM: *angry groan* YOU... YOU...*stomps off in anger*
Me: What a bitch.
by Valintino the Big Surpremo August 14, 2010

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