a middle aged white suburban woman who devotes herself WAY too much to her kids to make up what she couldnt suceed when she was a kid. they usually drive big ass SUVs, or mini vans and participate in numerous school activities, such as soccer, parties, fund raiser, sports events, PTA, and other school events. they are usually chaperones to every school field trip, and never leave their kids unattended. after school, they usually force their kids into after school activities, like karate, baseball, choir, and shit like that. they rather their kids do an activity over an actual job, and they volunteer them for community service when they didnt even do nething wrong. these kids cant make descisions on their own, and their fathers who are never present on the subject, are never around. these kids cant play video games that have a good theme or story plot, violence, magic, or nething fun. basically, nothing thats rated E+10 and above. the only music they can listen to is radio disney and classical, no movies that are rated above PG, and they probably never heard of the word known as "the internet". they are to attend church service every sunday and hafta particpate in choir and such. basically, these kids arent free from their soccer moms till their sophmore year of high school, and even then their mom chaperones the prom.

frankly, by puberty, mommy's "little angels" are spoiled rotten, and they can never rule out that Jimmy and Stephanie are selling crack and having orgies at a unchaperoned party instead of attending the pep rally.

in adult hood, these kids will probably be atheist and wont let their kids go newhere near their grandma.
a soccer mom's kid is doomed to never think for themselves and have their minds warped by their mom's to become actors, lawyers, professional athletes, and doctors.
by gunslingergirlvy_c_e January 29, 2006
A woman who embraces fear over freedom.
Rated "T" for Teen? No way am I buying that, you could be scarred by it...
by Cataphract_40 December 03, 2004
The stupid ass moms in america who preach about global warming because of huge vehicles being driven then they leave in their H2 Hummer to go get their spoiled bratty ass 'angels' from school to bring them to their after school shit and get groceries then go to their PTA meetings to chat about how they can 'make the world safer' for their overprotected children. They are obsessed with safety, censorship, and their children will never be able to survive in the real world alone because they won't know what to expect in life. These moms love to make other people miserable by telling them what to do when children are present and they act like children will forever be children and never become adults. They parent so that their kids will grow up to be christian 40 year old virgins listening to Bach and Kidz Bop and watching Barney and Telletubbies. They are the reason everything has censorship, saftey things that can't be turned off because a child MIGHT JUST MIGHT sit in the back of my screaming metal deathtrap.
Everything rated pg-13 and over, cars with t-tops, convertibles, loud engines, go fast are sinful. Music not sung by children or is not about fairy tales is the Devil. They made the government change the law so that kids have to sit in a car seat strapped down like they are in a roller coaster until they are so tall when when i was little, we could stand up in the front seat. Fucking Soccer moms took the fun, risks, and thrills out of childhood and they made our children into pussy wimps.
I drive a red rice-burning t-top firebird, listen to heavy metal, am learning German, drive fast and good, hate fast food, watch porn and violent movies, do not shelter children, and i am street smart: I am the definition of a soccer moms nightmarish encounter.
by Deutsch Thespian January 16, 2008
A stupid bitch who say their "sweet little angels"/bratty teenybopper kids are more important than anything in this fucking world. They are usually seen at Price Chopper buying 74894845894848794894896589589 pounds of shitty vegetables and not good stuff. The kids are brainwashed into thinking they are the best and are usually popular at school. They are only allowed to listen to shitty stuff like S Club 7 and B*Witched.
Who the fuck needs an example.
by Blahb February 08, 2005
Middle aged, middle class white woman, usually from the suburbs of lare metropolitan areas. Her life revolves around her 'prescious' children, and she will do anything to keep them safe. This leads her to support things to keep those sweet 'gifts from God' safe, including: gun control laws, new stop signs, new traffic lights, speed bumps in residential neighborhoods, booster seats, and enviornmental laws.

Soccer moms usually own large, fuel ineffecient vehicles. This is the consequence of her having to transport her kids with all their sports equipment, books from sporting event to sporting event. Another consequence of this is a strong support for protracted guerilla wars in the Middle East that soccer moms (wrongly) believe will keep the price of gas down.

They voted for Clinton/Gore in 1996 cause Clinton was cute and made them think Dole would gut education/health care. In 2004 Bush has them scared shitless that terrorists would target their 'babies'.
A typical day for a soccer mom involves making lunch for her little tykes after which she 'runs errands'. These errands usually involve the purchase of large amounts of drugs from black men in the city. The drug causes soccer moms to drive erraticaly during rush hour (ie cutting people off, failing to merge properly, failing to signal while changing lanes, hugging two lanes, failing to maintain safe speeds). Drugs also cause the average soccer mom to adopt dellusional perceptions of her children. This causes her to yell at the other team during soccer matches whenever her child fails to score.
by yeslkjlkj September 18, 2004
female mothers, sometimes single, that haul their little tykes around to soccer practice or games; vehicles they drive range from big ass gas hogging SUV's to mini vans with a soccer sticker placed near the back window; usually upper middle class cake eating assholes
The soccer mom gave me the "evil eye" after I clearly stated loudly, soccer should have stayed in Europe.
by gabe July 06, 2003
1. The reason we have little nuisances like the ESRB RIAA and FCC
2. Any DECENT person's worst nightmare (right next to Billy Ray Cyrus)
3. Mothers who think that by making there kids slaves to pop culture, it would make up for the fact that they live shitty, cocaine-infested lives.
Teen: *Buying M-Rated game*

Soccer Mom: You're not 17. You have to be 17 or older to buy that game.

Cashier: Sorry, I can't sell this to you.

Soccer Mom: Games like this poison your mind.

Teen: No, assholes like you poison my mind.

Soccer Moms are like AOL cds, for every one that you get rid of, 10 more spring up.
by PoserSmasher March 12, 2005
White, middle-class, middle-aged female. Hair pulled through the back of the baseball cap, into a ponytail. Usually seen "driving" a very large SUV. Also seen at stop signs staring aimlessly with their mouth open waiting for an open spot in traffic. Usually doesn't find one, so they pull out in traffic hoping to make their own spot. Thus causing an accident, which is paid for by their husbands income. Seen as an active parent at school. However, they never talk to their children because they have a cell phone blocking their ear, that they constantly scream into. Participating in booster clubs, PTA, church organizations. Ironically, you can find them cursing at the cashier because he couldn't return their curtains that they bought over a year ago, but never found time in their oh-so-busy lives to put up. All of this is usually done in front of their 'christian' children, who are going to grow even more mindless than their role model of a mother. Occasionally they go in flocks to the nearest mall, and trash every department they step into, throwing shoes on the ground, leaving once-hung items lying on the floor. Sometimes you see them running for the nearest open register, and fighting with the women that casualy strolls in front of her, explaining that she was there first, and doesn't have time to waste. She has to drive her one or two children away in an SUV that comfortably seats 8, so they don't miss their sports practice, or dance recital. Inflating gas prices mean nothing to these women and their gas hungry SUVs, because they haven't paid for anything with their own money since they married the father, who gets drunk twice a day, and comes home late into the evening. Lastly, these soccer mom's only answer to "homemaker"
A soccer mom is the lady you've seen on the side of the road yelling into her cell phone, standing next to an SUV with a flat tire. Don't offer help, she'll never appreciate it.
by Chriswizzle May 24, 2006

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