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"Soccer Mom" is a term made up during the election year 1996 to describe a white surburban homemaker wife who thinks that anything that is not explicitly Fundamentalist "Christian" is bad for her rotten little shits she calls her kids. She drives a bigass gas-guzzling SUV, tries to push her views on morality on everyone else, and goes shopping all the fucking time when she ain't taking her brats to soccer or piano practice or some other fucking stupid shit because she lives off her husband's wages. She gives money to a political party and tries to influence them to her standards. She's involved in PTA, the church "clique", you name it - she is influential and pushy in them all. In other words, an all-American stuck-up conforming judgmental BITCH.
Tipper Gore. Her kids got into drugs. I wonder why? Another example is the women who watch shit on the TV like that overblown yuppie Tupperware party that is called the View. On Sunday morning a Soccer Mom drops her daughter off to Sunday school, who then runs off with the cute boy in her class and they listen to a CD of "Satanic" music by U2, Pink Floyd, Rush or Ziggy Marley, then they smoke some Panama red and get it on in the grass.
by I Saw U2 Live Twice June 16, 2006
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16
1. A short (sometimes fat) mom who gives her kids (little angels) absolutely no freedom by scheduling everything known to man. Between 3:30 and 6:30. Even scheduling time able to be spent with friends. They also drive the biggest SUV/ minivan around and complain about gas prices. The inside do there SUV/minivan is usually filled with cheerios, sticky stuff, and other assorted snacks and drink causing a weird funky-ass smell. They are also the people at soccer and other non-contact sport) resulting in the growth of pussy children) with noise making objects such as horns, air horns, and other loud obnoxious things. You may also see them taking over the road and cutting you off on the road resulting in flipping people off, head-on collisions, and ass kicking. They are also the people who put censors on anything. You can’t say a curse near the children otherwise you will get yelled at. There kids are based around being spoiled and ESRB ratings, movie ratings and edited music. They are the people with the kids who yell at there parents and control the household. Usually married but dad is never around.

While driving in my 69 Roadrunner to buy my kids the new Grand theft auto game and a KORN CD, a Dodge Caravan cut me off nearly hitting my car resulting in a soccer mom ass whooping. When I got to the store and my kids got the game and CD, another soccer mom (who was buying her bratty children 2 copies of the same Sponge bob game) told me that am inappropriate for children so I told her to fuck off and let me raise my own children. Then while blasting the KORN CD near a soccer game a heard of coffee drinking soccer moms told me to turn it down because of language which I just turned up even louder.
by CWC November 27, 2006
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17
They name their children Madison, Britney, Caitlyn, Tanner, Bryce, Trevor... they drive an SUV or minivan embossed with soccer ball decals and honor student bumper stickers... their two most prized possessions: their cell phone and their sport water bottle... their husbands are never around, either at work or playing golf... they live in a constant state of suspicion of anyone "different" or not from their neighborhood (which usually is gated to keep those other people out).
They and they alone have made the lamentable Kidz Bop series a huge success and consequently are raising social retards who when they finally are "free" and off to college, will become drunken frat boys and/or slutty sorority girls.
The soccer moms of River Place subdivision gathered at Starbucks to discuss the growing problem of suspicious-looking Hispanic lawn crews prowling up and down their streets. Molly suggested that they discuss the issue with the HOA, to which Cindy said, "Good idea! Maybe we can make a rule requiring all Hispanics who come to our neighborhood be required to pass a background check."
They all loved this idea and toasted Cindy with their frozen lattes.
by Tom Fool May 24, 2007
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18
White, middle-class, middle-aged female. Hair pulled through the back of the baseball cap, into a ponytail. Usually seen "driving" a very large SUV. Also seen at stop signs staring aimlessly with their mouth open waiting for an open spot in traffic. Usually doesn't find one, so they pull out in traffic hoping to make their own spot. Thus causing an accident, which is paid for by their husbands income. Seen as an active parent at school. However, they never talk to their children because they have a cell phone blocking their ear, that they constantly scream into. Participating in booster clubs, PTA, church organizations. Ironically, you can find them cursing at the cashier because he couldn't return their curtains that they bought over a year ago, but never found time in their oh-so-busy lives to put up. All of this is usually done in front of their 'christian' children, who are going to grow even more mindless than their role model of a mother. Occasionally they go in flocks to the nearest mall, and trash every department they step into, throwing shoes on the ground, leaving once-hung items lying on the floor. Sometimes you see them running for the nearest open register, and fighting with the women that casualy strolls in front of her, explaining that she was there first, and doesn't have time to waste. She has to drive her one or two children away in an SUV that comfortably seats 8, so they don't miss their sports practice, or dance recital. Inflating gas prices mean nothing to these women and their gas hungry SUVs, because they haven't paid for anything with their own money since they married the father, who gets drunk twice a day, and comes home late into the evening. Lastly, these soccer mom's only answer to "homemaker"
A soccer mom is the lady you've seen on the side of the road yelling into her cell phone, standing next to an SUV with a flat tire. Don't offer help, she'll never appreciate it.
by Chriswizzle May 24, 2006
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19
A woman who refuses to believe that anything that is not white christian middle-upper class is evil. Political correctness and purification of youth is the prime goal of this group. These "dress and act like we are 20 even though we all know we are double that age" sufferers are often found destroying the sacred enviornment in their oversized SUV's driving in an unsafe fashion, often times with cell phones in one hand and a Starbucks coffee in the other.
by Mike Truitt June 10, 2003
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20
A middle-aged upper middle class woman (ussually white)and lives in the suburbs who devotes her life to her childeren. She carpools, drives them to soccer and little leauge, volenteers at their school, does snack days, and play dates. Most of them end up driving their childeren away by not letting them express their selves and immediatley putting down anything that they find important. They are usually Christian and this can be shown around their house, in most of the cases I have found the childeren end up being atheist. They drive in their mini vans and suburbans with their fancy coffee's and cell phones.
That mom that is driving like a maniac to pick up her kid from school and cart them to soccer practice is a soccer mom.
by Kaitlin August 30, 2003
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21
Middle to upper class white 30 to 45 year old moms that think every friggin thing is violent, except for their perfect little brats that they call children and their mini vans/elephant sized SUV's that use more gas than a plane going to Australia. Most of them are mind drones to their husbands who are the only provider of money seeing as none of them have jobs. They carry 100$ coffe, and a cell phone with them everywhere. And most of the time their vocal chords hurt from screaming their kids name at his or her soccer/baseball game 24/7. They want to censor everything that isn's christian, because its "evil." and feel only G rated movies and E rated video games are suitable for their bratty as hell kids. One of the most ignorant people around, because they think anything that isn't christian, white, and swear and or violence free is damed to hell.
"that soccer mom just cut me off in her gianst SUV cause she's late for her brat's soccer game, now i have a fender bender that she blamed on me"
by questionmarkc October 04, 2005
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