pissing off people who deserve to be on the slopes by ruining all powder and cutting them off right in front of jumps just so you can wipeout a 180 while yelling at your friend to "keep rolling" b/c that was a "gnarly bail," then hiking back up the hill so you can sit on your ass for 20 min waiting for 40 other douchebags and then attempting to push yourself up and gain speed by hopping up & down like a dumbass all so that you can go halfway up a jump before pussying out and "carving" to go off the side, but STILL reaching your arm back just enough so you can shout "Brah, tell me you got that gnarly tail grab" as you fall face-first into the ice, then complain about the nasty conditions and how they are scratching up your $6,000 piece of wood (C'MON!) that your rich dad bought you and complain while hiking back up to repeat it all again until you slide down to the base lodge to disturb the family atmosphere there enough that you are asked to leave, so you call your dad and he gets the entire kitchen staff fired so I can't even get a burger and decide to just cut my losses and go home and I walk outside to find my new skis in a river, and I try to rescue them but get stuck, catch pneumonia, and spend my whole 6 hr, cramped car ride home coughing while you laugh back to your slope-side mansion and play 4 hrs of CoD online against 8yo’s, whom you taunt until they cry to their mommies and develop inferiority complexes, on your 80” TV before doing it all again the next day-ing
Danny Bonaduce: "hey, I'm going snowboarding"
One of the greatest sports ever invented. Combines some of the most amazing aspects of nature with high speed, technical skill and bliss.
Snowboarding is as good as sex
Although the most fun anyone can have... ever... snowboarding is also one of the most potentially painful activities known to man. On a more technical note, there are three types of snowboarding:
Freeriding: This is your basic stand on a board and go down the hill type boarding. Doesn't take much talent... i'd say after 2-3 years you should have it down pat.
Freestyle: This is the most blissful activity on the face of the earth. It can also be divided into a bunch of subcategories...
-Park- Kickers and cheese wedges, park riding consists of taking air while maintaining a downhillwards (SO not a word) motion. While in the air, it is expected that you spin and / or grab.
-Pipe- Or half-pipe... this is arguably the most commercialised form of freestyle. It envolves going back and forth taking air on two walls of what is literally a massive half of a pipe made out of snow (but usually frozen as hell, making for some painful fuck-ups). Once again with the spinning and grabbing.
-Jibbing- This is what little kids who don't know how to ride properly spend all day doing. It's rails and boxes, mostly, but can be adapted to anything. Park benches, cars, roofs of barns (Jason Brown - Transworld's Technical Difficulties) Which is why it's so fun i suppose... still, those little fucks couldn't do shit in the next section.
Backcountry: Off trail riding, usually using a snowmobile, snowcat, or (if you're a rich sponsored son of a bitch) a helicopter to get u...
Snowboarding is cool
Im almost as cool as snowboarding is. And im really cool.
Snowboarding has nothing to due with skiing, other than the fact they both occur on the snow. The story about the drunk skier is fake. It originated from snowboarding and surfing. I hope you assholes learn that! It is simply the best sport in the world! Also it is a great sport to show off to chicks.
Chick-Whats your favorite sport?
Chick-Really? Let's fuck!
The action of giving two guys a foot job simultaneously. It's awesome.
Guy 1: "Dude did you see Jessie give snowboarding lessons to those other two guys!"
Guy 2: "Yah man. I'd let her wax me up and ride me anyday!"
Guy 1's dad: "Ummm...she already ripped up my slopes!"
Basically the most fun...ever. The best winter sport period. Altho in response to "the angry gnome" I'm one of those little effers that just jib...because i have no place to go backcountry. So yeah, I wont say snowboarding is better then skiing...because i ahev never gone skiiing...but all those little 6 yr old rich skiiers on the hill certainly PISS ME OFF
Dumb Kid at my school: "Hey look, that kid thinks she's so cool because she thinks she can snowboard"
me: *flawlessly grinds a rail*
Dumb kid: *faints because of my awesomeness*
Other dumb kid "Maybe i should try snowboarding..."
Snow boarding also meaning the snortn of cocaine!
"dang Dude Where have you been snow boarding, your shits looks all jacked up!"