When someone you work with is secretly watching porn on his computer and spanking his monkey under the desk without getting caught.
Hey Sgt Jones the CG didn't even see you looking at that dude on dude gay animal porn at work yesterday. You smooth criminal!!!!!!!
by secret December 01, 2003

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Top Definition
1) The seventh track on Michael Jackon's Bad album. A "fantasy" song that is, what Thriller is to Thriller, to Bad. Thriller took you to zombie land. Smooth Criminal reminds you Sunday was a black day and has you wondering whether Annie is okay now.

2) One of the most amazingly choreographed music videos ever by the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson is a smooth criminal in his music video. In reality, he's "smooth but not criminal".
by rolling_star October 22, 2010

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Moonwalking after you commit your felony.
Did you see that guy take that lady's purse?! He pumped some MJ on his escape, smooth criminal.
by Pseudoman(likesodomy) December 03, 2011

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The shaved testicles of a man.
Hello! Did you shave your balls?
Who doesn't love a couple of smooth criminals?
by atzza January 17, 2015

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To nonchalantly avoid an argument whether or not it is already occurring by making direct eye contact and leaving the room or area, with a calm stride.
Carol: So I was yelling at Ryan for talking to this girl and that rat bastard pulled a Smooth Criminal!

Shaniqua: Oh no he didn't!!

Carol: Yeah! He looked at me, then he walked right out.
by The Guy With The Pants January 18, 2011

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