The fictional micro-organism (much like cooties) which infects a person who comes in contact or makes excessive conversation with a carrier. Said carrier is noted for exceptional smarminess or false earnestness.
He was so obsequious in his responses that I found myself in great need of a shower fearing I might catch smarmites.
When someone is being a smarmy cunt on purpose, you ask them if they want a big jar of smarmite
Person 1: I think <friend> finds me annoying...
Person 2: I wonder that about everyone
Person 1: I know I dont find you annoying
Person 2: I meant you =p
Person 1: My arent we Mr. smarmite today