| 1. | Skinny Bitch Syndrome | ||
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Suffered mainly by females and gay stereotypes. A disease shared by all of the female characters in Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy and Bones, just to mention some. In real life, a patient with SBS rarely reach the age of forty, as the people around them tend to kill them off. The symptoms include: - Nagging about teir tragic lovelives - Manipulating other women's husbands in order to feed their own insatiable need for approval - Blackmailing other women in order to be the queen of the hill - Living on a diet consisting of mainly nothing, diet coke and some artsy-farsty coffee drink. It never fails. - Being bitchy - Being generally hysterical - Being a blast at parties by bitching and say things like "I don't eat sugar/snacks/filth like that" into the host/hostess' face - Control issues. Oh, man. - Excessive visible-bone flaunting - Competing at everything and to everyone - Staring bug-eyed at someone w the nerve to eat a Twizzler or bear claw in their presence - Considering people over size of 00 to be subhuman - The most common topics of conversation would be ramblings like these: "the baby, my lovelife, my life is complicated, i want to wait" and blah blah blah. If you want to heal an SBS-patient in your circle, there is only one cure. You need a pair of boxing mitts, a cattle prod and some elbow grease. You do the math. In fiction: (This is the digest, people. In real life the display of SBS is much more understated and takes time to discover)
SBS-patient (A glamorous FBI-agent, lawyer, surgeon) to a male model-like colleague: "You're smart, I'm pretty. I want your sperm because I can't have a baby with someone whose not as perfect as me. Its selfish not to have a baby. My baby's gonna be a doctor, no matter what. And beautiful. Or else I'll just not give a dang about it. But I can't be in a relationship with you because my life is too complicated. Of course." Narrator out of nowhere: This, folks, is a classic display of Skinny Bitch Syndrome! In real life: Hostess: How was the souffle, guys? Other friends: Absolutely scrumptious! SBS-friend: "I really couldn't say. I'M on a diet." *looks smugly down on her untouched dessert* |
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