A Shitty Finger Wipe happens when you're taking a massive shit on the toilet and when you're finished and go to wipe your ass, you accidentally miscalculate your finger placement on the toilet paper and end up smearing fresh smelly fecal matter onto one of your fingers as well as half of the toilet paper. Usually the Middle or Ring finger.
My girlfriend was horny one night and tried sucking on my middle finger as to turn me on, hinting towards a nice blowjob. After a quick suck of my finger, she made a disgusted face and proceeded to pick a single kernel of corn that tasted like shit out of the back of her throat. I had eaten corn two nights ago. Must have happened from a Shitty Finger Wipe that I failed to notice after I took a shit.
by ShitSpatulaEater June 12, 2014