Forrest Gump's famous quote.
Jack: That sucks.
Tom: Yeah, shit happens.
Fan: You just stepped in a huge pile of dog shit!
Forrest Gump: It happens.
Fan: What, shit?
Forrest Gump: Sometimes.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, take hostages.
Buddhism: If shit happens is it really shit?
Protestantism: Shit happens if you work hard.
Catholicism: Shit Happens, I deserve it.
7th Day Adventist:Shit happens on Saturday.
Mormonism: Knock Knock, Shit Happens.
Judaism: Why does shit happen to me?
Krishnaism: Shit happens, ring a dingy ding.
Jehovah's Witness:People now living will see shit happen.
Paganism: Each shit has its own name.
TV Evangelism: Send more shit.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.
Sunday School student:I gotta go!
Taoism Shit happens.
Confucianism Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism This shit happened before.
Mormonism This shit is going to happen again.
Islam If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
Stoicism This shit is its own reward.
Protestantism Let this shit happen to someone else.
Calvinism Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Pentecostalism In Jesus' name, heal this shit!
Catholicism Shit happens because you deserve it.
Judaism Why does this shit always happen to us?
Zoroastrianism Shit happens half the time.
Marxism This shit is going to hit the fan.
Atheism No shit.
Seventh Day Adventist No shit on Saturdays.
Existentialism Absurd shit.
Agnosticism What is this shit?
Nihilism Who gives a shit?
Deconstruction Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Christian Science Shit is in your mind.
Moonies Only happy shit really happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses Knock, Knock, shit happens.
Scientology Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Hare Krishna Shit happens, Rama Rama.
Hedonism There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Rastafarianism Let's smoke this shit.
This morning a terrible tragedy occured. One quarter of much-admired Liverpudlian band the Beatles and world peace activist, John Lennon has been shot. In other news the Spice Girls have released another single and hope to tour every club worldwide shortly.
World: Well I guess bad shit happens.