n. A shaven person who holds that the existence of the ultimate 'stache, and the essential nature of manfuzz are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to one's own facial hair.
A: Would you like to join our church?
B: No, sorry, I'm a shavenostic.
A: What's that?
B: It means I worship the almighty mutton chops of holiness and my measly pencil 'stache is all I'm bound to.