A ShartCon Alert is declared for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to:
Abdominal pain combined with mild nausea and vile gurgling from the stomach.
The 24-48 hours following a drinking binge.
During flu-like symptoms, as well as while on some antibiotics.
For at least 4 hours immediately following a confirmed assblast.
When a ShartCon Alert is declared, a severity level is assigned in descending order of severity from 5 to 1. (A 5 is technically a "Shart Watch" level)
Each individual varies as to what level they are at under the given symptoms and circumstances, as well as the procedures for increasing or decreasing their ShartCon Levels. Criteria that are universal while in ShartCon levels 4 through 2 include the golden rule:
One must ALWAYS test fart. Remember the tried and true phrase "Don't want to Shart? TEST FART!". The lower the level, the more cautious the test fart. While under ShartCon 2, one must stay within striking distance of acceptable sit-down toilet facilities.
ShartCon 1, the most sever level, requires a strict adherenc...