1. Buy a Russian Bride
2. Force feed her a few bottles of vodka
3. Throw her in a freezer
4. Wait a few hours, then gang bang her frozen corpse
5. After her bladder thaws drink her vodka filled urine
This is just like seward's folly (the U.S. purchase of Alaska) because you buy something from Russia that doesn't seem like a good idea at first, its really cold, and in the end you get gold
I'm going to pull a seward's folly next week, are you in?