Top Definition
Everyone has got this word wrong, to be seasoned means you fucked up your brain so much on drugs that you can't do any of the old things that you used to be able to do and/or to have perntamently fucked yourself up to the point where you don't have an idea whats going on anymore
Jack: Hey why aren't you in college

Jim: I want to go to college but I am too seasoned man

by Mit da Shit December 19, 2008

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Experienced in a particular field or activity. Knows the ropes already and doesn't need training or instructions.
In a restaurant kitchen;

Cook: How's the new dishwasher? Does he require babysitting?

Manager: No, he's seasoned. He worked two years at that barbecue place down the street.
by JohnBoy28 February 22, 2009

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To get high on marijuana, or pot or whatever else you want to call it. It can take the place of any descriptive word for being high, such as stoned or baked.
"Dude, let's get seasoned!"
"Hey man, I'm hella seasoned!"
by Amy Rajk November 10, 2007

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Experienced, certified, expert, mature, well-rounded or well-trained
"Hey man, who built that Santa Clause house?"

"I don't know dude, but whoever it was must have been a SEASONED carpenter!"
by have2hunt October 24, 2014

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When a big Louisiana man performs exquisite oral sex on a woman.
When you've been "seasoned" a gorgeous man from Louisiana or "the south" goes down on you.
by jj.south November 20, 2012

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Being under the influence of alcohol to the point of feeling pretty good and having that perfect buzz, but not overdoing it.
Dude, I went out last night and I got EVENLY SEASONED. It was just the right amount of seasoning!
by goodbyesolo July 16, 2014

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Surprisingly calm, cool, and collective on a certain situation or scenario, especially one that has been dealt with several times before. (financial issues, haters, etc.)

"Seasoned" is the opposite of "salty."
The term comes from "seasoning", a form of condiment similarly used to salt, the origin word for "salty".
"All these haters salty; I'm too seasoned, homie."

"HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE CHILL IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS?!"
"Rich, he's too seasoned to panic."
via giphy
by SonicPman May 19, 2017

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