Scientology is a mock religion created by the reincarnation of Hitler, Robert E. Lee, Benedict Arnold, and Satan himself. For the purposes of this article this culmination of people will be referred to as Ron L. Hubbard. Hubbard wrote a book called Dianetics for people who hate themselves but think they are to cool to go emo. The first edition of this book had special brainwashing powers and caused whoever reads it to subscribe to the religion scientology. When this was found out, the publisher stopped puting the brainwashing chips in, but the cult following grew. The basic beliefs are that aliens were killed by an alien and got blown up so bad that they died and got stuck in our brains. The sole purpose of these alien pricks is to piss us off. The hierarches of scientology make their followers give them all of their money. This money is then forwarded to Satan for his crusade against Jesus. In recent times, with his growing power, Satan created "Scientolobabies" who grew into celebrities spreading scientology bullshit.
by castleking March 25, 2006
Not to be confused with actual science or religion, this sad excuse for a religion is laughable. Created by a science fiction writer "Scientology" is almost like one of those second person choose your own adventure books.
The word science does not actually appear in the name. Instead we have "Scient," a make believe term that pulp fiction author L. Ron Hubbard made himself. He made up this word when he made up his biggest science fiction story of all time, "Scientology."
The word science does not actually appear in the name. Instead we have "Scient," a make believe term that pulp fiction author L. Ron Hubbard made himself. He made up this word when he made up his biggest science fiction story of all time, "Scientology."
John: Hey Bill wanna join up at the church of Scientology with me?
Bill: Are you out of your fucking mind!
Bill: Are you out of your fucking mind!
by alternatealien October 9, 2007
A total BS religion that has so thoroughly brainwashed the rich and stupid that it took the death of John Travolta's son for him to be able to shake free from its cult-like powers.
Neil: Hey, man, I heard John Travolta is leaving Scientology.
Bob: Good for him. But what will he waste his money on now? He must have given those douche bags hundreds of thousands over the years. Did he even make OT Thetan level 7 yet?
Neil: Who gives a shit?!
Bob: Good for him. But what will he waste his money on now? He must have given those douche bags hundreds of thousands over the years. Did he even make OT Thetan level 7 yet?
Neil: Who gives a shit?!
by Doc Lock October 13, 2009
A load of brainwashing money grabbing crap. A religion that goes around teaching crap and harassing people who disagree with them. They are liars and cheats. You can tell these people are lying just by looking at their face while they're talking.
by 1069 June 27, 2005
the one religion where doing cocaine is a must .. seeing as it was made by L. Ron Hubbard you have to be high on coke to take it seriously .. come the fuck on L. RON HUBBARD HE WROTE FICTIONAL NOVELS FOR CHRISTS SAKE!
by Bardiel October 2, 2005
scientology - 75 billion years ago, (3 times longer then the universe is belived to be by top scientists) in a federation of 11 galaxy's, warlord 'xenu' the dominant figure in the federation had a population crisis, so paraletic drugs were administored to trillions of the populus and then they were transported via dc-10 space planes, planes from the 50's and 60's, they were then dropped around the planet earths volcano's, and then atom bombs were fired inside them to instantly kill the trillions of 'thetans'. To stop the souls from escaping xenu had large force fields and ghost hovers to suck up the souls of the 'thetans' and placed them in 3-D viewing stations, basically 3-D cinema which showed 'xenu's' false gods, every other relgious belife and left them to wonder the planet eternally, but intellegent life formed and the thetans massed around the hosts and poisoned ther minds with relgion, and scientology claims to be the only way to remove this unhappyness through auditing sessions,and through a perminant subcription, and constatnt purchasing of over 3000 books on how to live in a scientological fashion. The creator as im sure you know was l.ron.hubbard, the most sly sex pest know to have exsisted, the law should forbid scientology to exsist due to it being utterly rediculous beyond belife and reason, its a money sapping con and will lead to disspear and brainwashing.
by jon puzzle February 4, 2008
John: 'Did you hear that the cult of Scientology starved Lisa McPherson to death?'
Jane: 'No, what happened?'
John: 'Look it up, those people are brainwashed to be cruel.'
Jane: 'No, what happened?'
John: 'Look it up, those people are brainwashed to be cruel.'
by HopskotchMofo February 19, 2010