|1.||School Gate Hooker|
A female parent who turns up to collect their offspring, or to school functions, wearing clothing and/or make up more sutible to work a shift in a brothel/as a streetwalker, than being round children.
It is to be presumed the intention of this is to atract attention, either from male partents, or teenage boys, to try and make themselves appear more attractive than the other females present. Often looking citoreinextremis.
Hallmarks of the school gate hooker are: high heeled thigh boots; micro mini skirts (esp if in P.V.C or leather); long, non child friendly finger nails, painted in 'hooker red'; unsuitable jewellry/accesories; over exposed clevage/breasts; trashy make up; smoking in inapropriate places.
Often school gate hookers behave in an overly flirty manner, sometimes inaproptiatly with adolecent boys, and are later heard bragging about how how the recipitant was 'all over them'; 'couldnt take their eyes off them'; 'will be masturbating later, with them in mind'
She was hated by the other mothers, avoided by all but the sadest single fathers and embaressed her own offspring, but the school gate hooker still spent as long getting dressed up to do the school run as she would for, yet another, diasterous date.
She make an quite an impession at the school xmas play, in fact quite a few of the other parents asked the school gate hooker if she had just come from/was going straight to work after the performance, and she never once realised they were making fun of her, being more concerned with the attention she was recieving.
Despite spending 45 minutes in preperation for her entrance, and blantently waving her latest model mobile phone about, the school gate hooker had no friends, was habitually single and was laughed at by the teenage boys she was so desperatly trying to impress.