A Schmelz is a person who plays soccer and gets into fights while playing, he usually gets mistaken for Justin Bieber and has a lot of nicknames. Sarcasm is one of his specialties, he likes to come over to your house and eat all your goldfish snacks. He'll drive 300 miles with the windows down but the most annoying thing he does of all is the way he sends text messages.
Person 1: Hey is that Justin Bieber?
Person 2: No that's just a Schmelz.
Text message 1: Aight dawg where u at?
Text message reply: Why are you typing like a Schmelz?