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To "schmeer" yourself means to kill yourself

girl: mommy when i grow up i want to be a supermodel and eat pancakes all day!
mom: if that happens ill Schmeer myself
by chosen-one February 18, 2008
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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1. In the card games schafkopf and sheepshead, to throw value cards onto a trick that you expect your partner will take. Others may do the same expecting a contrary result.

2. noun: A trick so padded. "To take the whole schmeer."

3. To increase the value of a transaction that you expect will benefit you and/or a comrade in the end.
Once he got elected to office the Republican schmeered the contracts of his campaign contributors and in return they paid him large kick backs.
by Jubilation T. Corndog October 18, 2006
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