A wet fart, a fart in which upon being expelled from the anus, carries with it ass juice. Leaving your undergarments caught in the crossfire. A schlem can be due to relaxed sphincter muscles, i.e. bum love. If you are unfortunate enough to suffer a schlem, do not try and salvage your underwear, make sure you dispose of it!
"Aw man i've got 'schlem' juice running down my leg!"
"I hear Ian 'schlems' so bad, he has to wear a sanitary towel!"
Popular Scottish term for something brilliant, most commonly used to describe an action. It describes an absolute outstanding achievement of a particular action which is hard to replicate, such as a perfect free kick in football. It is also commonly combined with other Scottish terms such as Wan to add emphasis on the brilliance of that particular action or event.
"that shot was a shclem."
"that guitar solo was a wan-schlem" - not only was the guitar solo a schlem it was also worthy of wanning to.
"I wan-schlemed all over your mother's face" - I ejaculated outstandingly all over you're mother's face.
the grimy, smelly, and crusty shit secreted from your penis
"dude whats that smell!"
" oh thats my fucking schlem"
When one rolls one tongue in such a way that it sprays spit much like a venomous snake
Did you see that? I just schlemmed in that kid's face!