The fattest, oldest pimp this side of the north pole.
Santa has three hoes. Damn that's jolly.
by Skin-Nerd July 17, 2005
The biggest perv in the world.
"He's gonna find out
who's naughty or nice...

"He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake...

Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
To town."

"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus...
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night."

"Who 'comes' around on a special night?
Santa 'comes' around on a special night...

Who very soon will 'come' our way?
Santa very soon will 'come' our way..."

"Here 'comes' Santa Claus!
Here 'comes' Santa Claus!
Right down Santa Claus Lane!...

Hang your stockings...
'Cause Santa Claus 'comes' tonight...

Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,
What a beautiful sight.
Jump in bed, cover up your head,
'Cause Santa Claus 'comes' tonight."
by Sid Barrett September 18, 2007
the one jesus hates for hogging the spot light during christmas time
"mommy, why do they call santa time, christmas, shouldn't it be santamas ?"
by gravisan November 17, 2006
An overweight personification of greed in today's society. He symbolizes gluttony, slavery, lust, and greed. He spies on children around the world all year. He unlawfully enslaved an entire race, the elves. He cruelly forces unqiue flying reindeer to haul his fat ass around once a year, at great risk to their health.

Furthermore, one that same night, he breaks into every household which beleives in him. He uses the "Enter through the chimney technique". However, rather than steal anything of value, he steals the food left out. Such gluttony!

The cleverly wrapped presents usually contain some useless object the child of the house yearns for. However, one must assume, knowing his other criminal activity, that eventually he will deliver a bomb to some household.

Lastly, he symbolizes that it is okay to be bad. No matter how naughty a child has been that year, Santa always seems to reward him/her with a present.

This year, I will catch this fiend by installing a crossbar in my chimney. If any weight should be applied to the bar, it will cause a spark, which will start a fire in the fireplace.

We must bring Santa to justice!

See Criminal Burglar Pervert Slave Master Fat Ass

OR

Anyone sharing most or all of the above traits
He's a Santa!
by Someone December 21, 2003
Santa is a big scrub who coms to your houses and steals are your cookies and your video games and gives you nothing but coal.
Look at that scrubby Santa
by atmas March 05, 2012
That guy that doesn't exist
little kid: "Dad, wheres Santa?"
Drunken Dad: "That fat bastard ain't real, go back to bed"
little kid: (dreams officially crushed)
by dreamcrushedboy December 23, 2010
A jolly old fat man known as the worlds most elusive stalker
He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when your awake. Yep, Santas definitely a stalker
by ThatRandomnGuy December 08, 2013
Fat man who eats all your cookies during the holidays. Mythical creature originated in Germany and some how gets his fat ass down your chimney. Best friend is cookie monster. Married to Mrs. Claus. Works little green, pointed eared, dwarfs to there deaths in a factory in a freezing temperatures all year long. Abuses reindeer by sprinkling magic dust on them mutating their DNA allowing them to fly. Children love him, but pee on his lap in the mall.
Billy "Gee Santa, i want a toy train for Christmas.''

Santa "To bad, you get coal cause you have been a naughty boy!!!"
by Bob Hufferman December 22, 2012

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