Welcome to Saint Johnsbury, where the 1800s are just getting started! Saint Johnsbury is most famous for somehow destroying all businesses that are stupid enough to build there, as well as eating the dignity of all its residents. It also contains a ridiculous excuse for a high school where the retarded redneck kids do their heroin binges on their Ford tailgates to forget about the fact that they live in such an armpit. Your trip to Saint Johnsbury also includes an odd smell that people swear is "just the river". The whole city is infested with aging hippies, wiggers and senile old people that all have a heroin or crack addict or some sort. Maybe the worse thing about Saint Johnsbury is it's retarded street system that was probably planned by a seven year old. Or maybe its the fact that the people of this town do not believe in personal hygiene, or the upkeep of their homes. This town is defiantly a waste of your time, unless you want something to laugh about.
Guy thinks to himself: Haha, Driving through Saint Johnsbury really made me feel better about myself. sweet.