| 1. | Sailcat | ||
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Once an ordinary cat, Sailcat was turned into a super invincible cat by space radiation whilst hunting a mouse one night by a highway. Soon after he became invincible, he was run down by a semi truck in the passing lane of the highway, but he lived through the horrific incident.
Shortly after he was flattened, some kids came along and found Sailcat pancaked to the road. They then picked him up and threw him like a frisbee into the night sky, thus beginning the legend. From that day forward, Sailcat was the feared and revered protector of all living things wishing to cross freeways. The Legend of Sailcat
There's danger out on the nations' roads They're paved with snakes and flattened toads, And truckers drive in rigs so big They can flatten a cow, or a horse, or a manatee! And those who survive are a lucky few, But there's one brave cat who made it through And I'm here to tell the tale to you of Sailcat. Sailcat? Sailcat! He was huntin' for mouse to feed his face, When strange radiation from outer space Turned him into a super invincible cat! When a truck ran him down with a hideous splat! Ah, he couldn't be killed, but he still could be squished And he lay in the passing lane shakin' his fist Then some kids helped him fly with a flick of the wrist And that was the birth of Sailcat. Sailcat. Sailcat. He chased after that truck like a buzz saw unleashed, And he sliced it in two like a knife through a peach One truck half took the high road, the other the low And the message went out on CB radio: "Breaker, breaker, lookout, watch your back Be afraid there's a Frisbee-like cat who's a mighty sharp blade." So the feared and revered reputation was made of Sailcat. Sailcat. Sailcat. He's been known to chop redwoods and stop a whole fleet When a family of tape worms was crossing the street And when mom's having troubles with thanksgiving plans, He has even dropped by to help open some cans Or when someone's depressed and has had a bad day He unerringly knows just the right things to say: "Don't worry, Cow. People love you because you're big and fat and ugly. Go with it!" Then he'll ask for a toss, and be on his way He's Sailcat. |
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