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1.
Noun, also see "Coach Rum." A large, manatee-shaped creature with a plethora of great, oozing blisters profusely erupting over the entire facial area. Her weakness is her inability to reproduce without the aid of medicines, which, fortunately, do not exist at this point in time.

In addition to her day job as a math teacher, Coach Rum runs a lucrative beverage dispense business. She has quite the affinity to "lemon" Gatorade.

Her mating shrieks have been known to be heard by canines only. She has often been known to try to "siren" children to her after-school "tutoring" sessions through use of her ultra-soprano singing voice, usually blaring out a country tune.

Her other weakness is her source of power - her ever-expanding stomach, or "crystal ball," if you will. She rubs it constantly to keep her strength up.

Beware! Spewing puke might occur during the early morning hours. Keep out of range! She can shoot up to 50 feet!!
My God, Coach Rum, she hath come!! RUN!!
by PeeMS April 09, 2005
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