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1.
Q: How Are Fart Magnitudes Measured?
A: The Ripster Scale

The magnitude of most fartquakes is measured on the Ripster scale, invented by Toots McGee in 1957. The Ripster magnitude is calculated from the amplitude of the largest seismic cheek flapping recorded for the fartquake, no matter what type of wave was the strongest.
At the (fill in the blank mexican restaurant) the other night, I was standing at the urinal draining the main when a 9.2...possibly up to 9.5 Ripster scale fartquake exploded in the stall adjacent the urinal. I cut the stream off prematurely and headed for the exit with a texas-sized pee stain in my drawers.
by The Real Toots McGee September 19, 2011