Church: "Tell us Doc, we can take it."
Doc: "Your friend is-"
Caboose: "Dying? Oh no!"
Doc: "No he's not dying, he just has-"
Caboose: "No chance to live? I knew it."
Church: "Caboose, one more interruption from you, and he's going to have two patients."
Doc: *sighs* "How do I say this? Your friend is-"
Church: "Why are you pausing? Caboose is not gonna interrupt you this time."
Doc: "No, that was just for dramatic effect. He's pregnant."
Caboose: "Oh god... Wait, what?"
Tucker: Freelancers are independent they’re not red or blue. They’ll fight for who ever have the most money.
Caboose: Like a mercenary
Tucker: Right. Or like your mom, when the rent is due.
Caboose: Oh that’s funny.
Tucker: Ya you didn’t think that was to obvious
Caboose: No, no not at all it was good.
Church:Tex walked up to him, pulled his skull out of his head, and beat him to death with it.
Blue:Wait a second...how do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible.
Church:That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
Jimmy:THIS DOESN'T *WHAM* SEEM PHYSICALLY *WHAM* POSSIBLE!
Sarge : "What? Oh macaroon, he's not sleeping son, he's dead."
Caboose :" Oh good, at first... I thought that was me... Because, I am blue and I like to sleep. But if he is dead, that can not be me... that would be silly."
Caboose :" It must be nap time. But who has nap time now? Nap time comes before pants time, not after... I think these people are just making up times!"
By the way, Sarge is right. There is no motion capture in Red vs Blue. Take that, Prof Chaos!
Is this Blue Command?
Oh, yeah, man! Sure! Totally! What's going on?
You sure? The Blue Command Base?
Hey dude, take it easy. You called me. I didn't call youuuuu....
Vic-can do sarge, ill have the air team target the blue forces now. ill just fax you the airstrike requisition forms.
sarge-We can't! i used some of the parts from the fax machine to make Simmons 2.0!
Simmons-(internet noises) Woah...must have been something I ate
Grif-Simmons, why is there paper coming out of your ass?