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1.
Pulling a Quagmire is a multi-step system that occurs over the period of the night. There are a few steps you must do in order to perform the perfect Quagmire.

1) Make sure that you customize all of your clothes to be tear-away style so that you can easily rip off all of your clothes within a matter of seconds.

2) When you are at a party always walk around nodding your head back and forth as you scout the room for potential women.

3) This is THE most difficult step of all. When picking up a girl you MUST use a lame pick-up line like "Hey do have any irish in you? Want some?" or "I may be no flinstone, but I can make your bed rock." If you can successfully pull off the pick up line then you are in good shape.

4) Now this step is very important. If you have any doubts about her age always make sure that she is of age. If not, then move on to the next one.

5) Pull a Charlie Harper and get her drunk.

6) The most rewarding step and final step of the Quagmire. While having sex with her you MUST at one point start nodding your head back and forth saying "giggidy giggidy giggidy giggidy." Then once you are all finished stare to your right or left and give a smile and thumbs up and say "Alriiiiiiight."

If you can successfully Pull A Quagmire then YOU ARE GOD!!!
Brian and Ross bet Kevin that he couldn't pull a quagmire at the party. Little did they know Kevin was already wearing his tear-away clothes.
by SwickNisher July 10, 2011