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1.
A bougus mathematical Theorum by Strongbad graduate of Crazy go nuts university: The oneitude is directly proportional to the colditude of the one. In laymans terms, A one that is not cold is scarcely a one at all
Acording to the Property of Ones, this one has a low oneitude level
by Jeff October 08, 2003
 
2.
A very important and benefitial rule for drinking beverages of a beer related nature devised by the great and wise Strong Bad.
It stands for the fact that a cold one's quality degrades with a rise in temperature, thus making it less of a cold one, and no longer drinkable.

IMPORTANT NOTES:
- This rule does not apply in countries where room temperature ones are enjoyed.
- Under the right circumstances, a cool one, can be quite refreshing also.
"A One That Isn't Cold Is Scarcely A One At All" - Strong Bad
by Muggus December 06, 2003