My biggest failure in school was letting procrasturbation get in the way of my homework.
To procrastinate by means of masturbating.
To procrastinate while masturbating.
2. Well, I was gonna masturbate, but I kinda ended up writing this eulogy instead. You know me and procrasturbation.
Jimmy: "Ummm, almost mom."
Mom: "Jimmy quit procrasturbating, you're gonna fail your class and go blind!!"
Procrasturbation is a grade killer