Top definition
A Private Pooper is someone who claims to never shit, and is never seen going to the bathroom and taking the long time needed for a shit.

One theory is that the Private Pooper's wait until a late time, preferably around 3 in the morning when everyone in the general vicinity is sleeping, so they can poop without being caught.

Many of these Private Pooper's have drawn speculations by saying that they're brushing their teeth, and that's why they are taking so long in the bathroom.

Experts say they leave the faucet running during their said "teeth brushing" so that no one will hear the kerplunk into the toilet from the poop.

Many have said to have caught Private Pooper's in the act, but weren't able to supply legitimate evidence.
Joe: Michael, you're taking longer in the bathroom than normal!

Michael: Yeah because I'm washing my face, sorry that I have a girlfriend you idiot.

Joe: You're not washing your face, I know exactly what you're doing you Private Pooper!

Michael: OK motherfucker, you're just a dumb pussy.

Joe: yeah yeah, you Private Pooper.
by Dude-guy April 04, 2009
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