| 1. | Post-Traumatic Choke Disorder | ||
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An anxiety disorder that is triggered from witnessing one's team choke, whether that be a spring training game, season game, or playoff game. Symptoms include: -Fair weather sportsmanship -Ranting about the choke -Afraid to watch any games -Making excuses to not watch a game (playing video games, homework, on the computer) -Avoidance of talk about recent games -Loss of faith in team -Low self-esteem, unable to defend team from rival fans Example 1:
Joe: Dammit! The Cubs just keep losing! Kel: Screw this, I'm gonna go to the bar! Few minutes later... Joe: Yes! We tied it! (Kel runs in the room) Kel: Alright! They're unstoppable! Joe: Damn, Kel. No need to hide your PTCD. Example 2: Joe: Hey, the Pats won last night! Kel: Fuck the Pats! All they ever do is fucking lose! We won Super Bowl Fucky-Two! The Giants weren't actually that fucking good enough! It was one of our fucking players! Joe: Chill, Kel! Kel: Sorry. Post-Traumatic Choke Disorder. Example 3: Joe: Hey, Kel! You gonna watch the ALDS tonight? Kel: No, I'm probably gonna go out with Jane. Joe: I thought you broke up with Jane? Kel: Dammit! My PTCD's acting up again! Example 4: Joe: Hey, the Cubs played an amazing game last night! Kel: Um, can we not talk about the Cubs right now? I happened to miss the game. Joe: PTCD? Kel: Yup. Example 5: Marvin: Yo, Boston sucks! Kel: Yeah, whatever. Joe: Dude, don't take that from him! Kel: Who cares? I've lost confidence! Joe: Stop it with the PTCD! Example 6: I myself happen to be a sufferer of PTCD. Since the Pats' loss in Super Bowl 42, I have been petrified of ever watching another sports game. The one time I watched a Red Sox game after that was when they choked to the White Sox during a home game in 2010. Since then, I have suffered a double dose of the disorder. |
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