2. 'The crust on her Pork Pie was so thick that I needed sandpaper to wipe it off, and then there was enough jelly to fill three tins of dog food... then, to top it off, when we finally got down to it, she was so saggy that the effect was akin to throwing a sausage down a hallway'.
The etymology of "porkpie" is as follows: In a weak attempt at improvised cockney rhyming slang, "porkpied" was used in place of "denied". That's it really. It sort of rhymes with denied.
Can be used as an interjection, a noun, a verb.. even a way of life, if you're so inclined - making porkpie a valuable addition to anyone's vocabulary.
Can be abbreviated to 'pied.
More experienced users of the word have been known to say it with an accompanying gesture - any formation of the hands, which alludes to the view through a cross-section of a porkpie, will do. A plan view of such a porkpie is generally unacceptable, however, and can even be interpreted as an insult in some circles.
M: Was I porkpieing you?
J: You totally 'pied me, you bummer
M: OK OK, no need to get eggy
Dickhead 2: Noway! She must be about 70, I bet she's got a proper pork pie!
Dickhead 1: . .And? All the more flavour. *Licks Lips*
Clare: Ohhhh yes bab
Ross: Gud, this time not so much jelly though
Clare: Oh me pork pie is kicking out a right pong it must be the crust