I feel sorry for the people who win Pop Idol. They get paid craploads to flood the music industry with half-arsed shite and to take it up the arse from Pete Waterman.
August - Wins programme, lots of jubilation, gets fat record deal.
September - Releases first single. It gets to Number 1 and then bombs the next week.
October - The Sun newspaper publishes a revelation about this winner being gay/having an affair with a model/engaging in sordid group sex practices/whatever. Public don't really give a shit.
November - Having had their interest sparked by the previous month's press frenzy, their second single rockets.
December - They get to Xmas number 1.
January - Their next single bombs and we (thankfully) don't hear of them again.
May - Pop Idol starts up again.
Guy: Ok thats enough Frodo, Next.
Frodo: What was wrong with it then?
Guy: Well Frodo, i'll be honest with you, this is called Pop idol, you may have had a chance if it has been Middle earth idol but it isent, so get out.
Frodo: oh dear. and stop calling me frodo my name is Alaisa Wood
*Frodo walks out into the street
Chav: Oi frodo ya wanker put some shoe's on ya tit.