There are more than one type of poop:
The Classic: The poop that warns you and says "Hey you have to poop" then you go, it slips out easily , and you only have to wipe once. AKA: The dream poop.
The Shotgun: This poop is rather unpleasant. There is no warning and the poop says "YOU HAVE TO POOP NOW! QUICK OR ELSE YOU WONT MAKE IT!" so you sprint to the bathroom and start pooping before you even hit the seat. You are finished pooping within a matter of seconds but the wiping takes about 24.34 minutes.
The Ice Cream Machine: This type of poop lives up to it's name well. It gives little warning but at least enough to put toilet paper on the seat if you're in a public restroom. It comes out as either a viscous liquid or a very chunky soup. This one is by far the longest one to wipe.
The Houdini: This poop is a trickster. You know it came out but you never heard it hit the water. So you peek around to check the toilet...and it's gone!
The Tsunami: This is usually a very hard and large poop, but it can also be a shotgun poop. You are sitting and pushing away and it comes out. You are about to sigh in relief when a very cold splash of water laps your butt. Not a good time.
The False Alarm: You are alerted that a poop is nearing your anus so you run into the bathroom and sit down. Unfortunately that poop turned out to be a very loud series of farts.
The Liar: You have noticed your sphincter is getting a little antsy, so you head for the bathroom. You sit down and start pushing away but nothing comes out. But here it comes, you can feel it. You start pushing, it is a battle between the poop and human race. So eventually you win and you look in the toilet to see your accomplishment and to your surprise there is a M&M sized poop staring right back, mocking you.
Jack the Ripper: This poop is too big. Plain and simple. A quarter sized hole can't plop out a half-dollar piece! WHAT WAS MY LOWER INTESTINE THINKING?!
Last but not least...
The Army: This poop is the most unpleasant of all. you got done pooping a pure liquid concoction and you wipe till your hole is sore. So you get up and your butt says "Oh no!You're not done! Sit back down there!" so after another barrage or poop soup you wipe that painful hole again and stand up. and once again your butt disagrees with you. So you end up sitting on the toilet with your head in you hands asking yourself "WHEN IS IT GOING TO END!?"
CLEAN Poop: The kind where you Poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the paper.
WET Poop: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.
SECOND WAVE Poop: This happens when you're done Pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poop some more.
POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-Poop: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG Poop: The kind of Poop that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSEY Poop: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot giggles.
DRINKER Poop: The kind of Poop you have the morning after a night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN Poop: (Self-explanatory)
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop: The kind where you want to Poop, but all you do is set on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP Poop: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS Poop: (The Power Dump). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
LIQUID Poop: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
MEXICAN Poop:It smells so badly that your nose burns.
UPPER CLASS Poop: The kind of Poop that has no odor.
THE SURPRISE Poop: You are not at the toilet because you think you are about to fart but...oops...a
Poop!!! THE DANGLING Poop: This Poop refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Pooping it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
As the poop hit the water, it was immediately lost to sight.
1. Petro Poop: A not-to-hard not-to-soft engorging poop, definatly the most enjoyable.
2. Hot Stick: A very hot feeling poop, these can sudenly pop up when in swimming pools, the poop greatly resembles The Reah, but not in its entirety.
3. The Reah: Some viruses feature this as a symtom, the poo is mushy, you have to go about 5 times a day, and you have to wipe about 17.3 times every time you go. No doubtidly the most dreadful type of poop.
4. Cheese Nickels: This genre of poop is when you sqweeze really hard and all that came out was a little yellow, skinny, creamy looking terd. Cheese Nickels usually replaces The Reah once you take a anti-reah pill.
5. Nickel of Death: Also known as constapation.