CLEAN Poop: The kind where you Poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the paper.
WET Poop: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.
SECOND WAVE Poop: This happens when you're done Pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poop some more.
POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-Poop: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
GASSEY Poop: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot giggles.
DRINKER Poop: The kind of Poop you have the morning after a night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN Poop: (Self-explanatory)
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop: The kind where you want to Poop, but all you do is set on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP Poop: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
MEXICAN Poop:It smells so badly that your nose burns.
UPPER CLASS Poop: The kind of Poop that has no odor.
Guy 2: Yer gotta love poo :P
THE SWEETCORN - Poo that has leftover sweetcorn from last night's dinner
THE PELLETS - Little pellets of poo that comes out of your ass like a machine gun
THE FIREBALL - A big poo that really hurts and leaving your ass hot, usually happens after a curry
THE SLIPPY - A poo that swiftly moves out of your bottom that requires no wiping
THE WATERHOSE - When a massive monsoon of shit comes out of your bottom and requires hours of wiping
THE NEVERENDING STORY - An amazing acheivment is when a poo goes on and on and on.......
THE STEAMY HEAPY - Boy, That is basically ONE MASSIVE SHIT!!!!!!!
THE STICKY - When you have a poo stuck onto the hairs of your crack and requires hours of wiping (maybe a pair of scissors)
Poo is commonly propelled out of your rectum usually preceding speeds of up to 100 miles per hour. There are multiple types of poos, such as,
Gattling Gun: The Gattling Gun is when your anus continually produces poo pellets which erupt out of your ass into the water.
Splashers: Splashers are actually quite common. They refer to any kind of poo that hits the water of the toilet bowl and the water displaces onto your ass and you aquire an annoying yet real feeling of a splashed ass.
One Eyed Green Monster: The One Eyed Green Monster, or O.E.G.M., is a greenish hue poo that has usually a few nuts in it. O.E.G.M.s are usually mixed with a dark redish color or brownish color and seem to appear when there are some extra foods that have flown through the digestive track. The greenish poo usually represents illness.
The Red Baron: Red Barons are red poos basically. They attain the color of red through stain of your very own blood. A Red Baron may more commonly make your anus bleed instead of being stained with its blood.
Burning Brigade: The Burning Brigade is usually a series of poos that result in a tired and extremely overheated anus. These poos steam at sight and leave your anus in no better condition. Burning Brigades are known to acheive temperatures of over twice that of the sun. Sometimes a Burning Brigade will be enflamed and scorch the inside of your anus threatening a bowel reallignment.
What the Fuck: What the Fucks are nicknamed after what you say when you look at your poo. A W.T.F. usually contains an arrangement of different items in your poo that you may have digested earlier. From gum to just about anything is what they may contain. What the Fucks may take on any trait of any other poo making them a admirable foe, but are usually related to Corporate Casuals.
Creamy Corn: Creamy Corns contain Corn as their name implies. Creamy Corns are generally creamy with abundant tidbits of corn layden across the poo. Creamy Corns generally slide right out of your anus very quickly. Creamy Corns are a subcategory of What the Fucks, and generally harmless.
Rocky Road: Rocky Roads are simply nutty poos. They are a subcategory of a W.T.F. If you overeat on nuts, expect a Rocky Road. Sometimes the nuts violently scratch at your innocent inner-buttox causing a great deal of pain. Rocky Roads look nutty and brown and usually quite chunky.
Slick and Clean: Also known as the S.A.C. S.A.C.s slide out of the anus without leaving a mess or requiring you to wipe it, but out of good integrity, you do. Slick and Cleans are what everyone hopes for every poo session. S.A.C.s sometime merge with Love Trains to create an annoying but strangely satifying turd. S.A.C.s are loved around the world as the world and were discovered as the world's first non-volatile poo!
Slick and Dirty: Slick and Dirties, or S.A.D.s are opposite S.A.C.s in terms of the stains they leave. Slick and Dirties are slick but leave massive poo stains all over your buttox and are extremely messy. S.A.D.s are extremely moist usually and can easily be broken down by being releived on by its yellow countpart. A releiving yet grotesque poo, it was also the rated the second most non-volatile poo when it was discovered. S.A.D.s have grasped atmospheric speeds that violently assault the water creating a chunky messy Splasher.
Winnie the Pooh: Also known as the"Pooh." Poohs are poos that get stuck in your asscrack and refuse to get out. Through much energy and constipation eventually the Pooh may be pried free and released to go about its buisness.
Hamlet: Hamlets are very similar to Poohs. Hamlets are tiny poo pellets that you wish you could get out of your ass but no matter how hard you try it wont budge. If you eventually give up the dastardly deed, then you have the feeling of a poo lodged inside of your anus for quite a while. Hamlets are optional poos really, as long as you don't push for one you wont be stuck in its pickle.
Corporate Casual: The Corps are known as plainly regular poos. They don't take on any specifics rather than perhaps that of a Splasher. Corps aren't anything to worry about and simply fit the description of a regular turd. Corporate Casuals are also refered to as "Mimics" as they can easily take on the function of any of these poos in a half-baked way.
Cheesey Gordida: Cheesey Gordidas are generally yellow poos. Cheesy Gordidas are usually quite goey and liquid like, but still manage to maintain a solid form. Cheesy Gordidas are prevented when you exhume the Cheesy Gordida Crunch manufactured with brain juice in Tacobell. Cheesy Gordida Crunches were named this because of their function of halting Cheesy Gordidas. A Cheesy Gordida turns into a Nickel Raid when treated with the medicine Cheesy Gordida Crunch.
Nickel Raids: Nickel Raids are the product of a Cheesy Gordida being treated. Nickel Raids are hundreds of poo pellets no bigger than half an inch that rapidly propel out of your but and make your anus feel like a Yeti is trying to get it. Nickel Raids do save you from the pain of a Cheesy Gordida but aren't that great.
The Love Train: The Love Train is a concentrated essence of love-fudge. Love Trains are extremely lengthy but sometimes very slim. The Love Trains usually cause rashes due to the constant irritation aganist the skin from the train. Love Trains are closely related to the Slick and Clean and sometimes you can see the time in combination. The longest Love Train recorded was 11 feet in length but about 1' in width. They seem to get thinner but longer.
Water Fountain: Water Fountains and Splashers are commonly mixed up. Water Fountain is liquid like poo that is impelled out of the butt at a speed faster than the fastest man on Earth. This session of poos will certainly have Splashers in it and usually a Water Fountain can last for three days!
Gassy Max: The Gassy Max poo, refers to anal leakage. Anal leakage is where you feel the need to fart, and you do but instead of a delectable gas coming out, your are bestowed upon a renegade pellet which usually are very watery as well.
Behemoth: The Behemoths are extremely large poo snakes that may reach up to 1 foot in length. The Behemoth is a pain to dispel and usually clogs your toilet. If you feel the need of a Behemoth, go outside and let it free, otherwise you will have to go the extra mile to unclog the bastard. Behemoths occur when your anus feels like playing a trick on you, although it risks ripping, your buttox contains its own paralell mind known as the sub concious. This was proved in 1786 from a test by Ebeneezer Scrooge.
Nemesis: Nemesis is a life-threatening poo. Its known to have reached sizes of about 3 feet in length and 6' in width. Nemesi are also known as "The Brown Death." If you feel the need of a Nemesis you need to hurry, Nemesi move through your digestion track with denomic speed. Nemesi have the lead statistic in violently ripping asses open. Back in ancient times, the Nemesi were regarged as a curse in an attempt to spawn the Anti-Christ and were imbued with satanic powers. Today such ideas are still taught.
"Yo i've got to let the dogs out yo! Chitz is scratching alot!"
"Excuse while i engage in disgorging myself of poo."
"Poos are a gift from heaven, if you don't like taking poos, then don't."
"WHY! Why have i been forsaken with this poo?! WHY GOD! WHY!"
"I do beleive it is my right to request the ability to take a poo during class."
"My god this Gattling Gun has entered a cheat of infinite ammo!"
"God damn i hate Splashers..."
One Eyed Green Monster
"Ah man my poo is green! Look theres a nut in the middle! It looks like a One Eyed Green Monster!"
The Red Baron
"My ass aches! Oh no a Red Baron! Theres blood everywhere!"
"My ass feels like its been in a kiln! Damn you Burning Brigade!"
What the Fuck
"What the fuck is that?"
"Ahh gross! Its a Creamy Corn!"
"OH! MY ASS! The burning sensation of my ass crack getting mutilated on all sides of the retum by a Rocky Road is unbearable!"
Slick and Clean
"Lets see what do we got here... hey wow my ass is already clean! Oh that was a SaC! Yes i love Slick and Cleans!"
Slick and Dirty
"Jesus i've been through an entire paper roll, this was some Slick and Dirty!"
Winnie the Pooh
"Release me of your constant bickering Winnie the Pooh!"
"Shit i shouldn't have pushed, now i've got a Hamlet!"
"Whew looks like its only a Corp."
"Eww gross a Cheesy Gordida! Look at it squirm!"
The Love Train
"This is one long ass Love Train!"
"Here comes a fart! Ah, that felt, wait, what the hell! OH NO IT WAS A GASSY MAX!"
"UGH! Water Fountain, my ass feels like a girl in the middle of a bukakke!"
"My ass crack cannot take it any longer its going to give to this Behemoth!"
*Denomic music starts playing