The two contestants put their bum holes together, preferably in the scissors position for maximum contact, and the warriors poo at the same time. The aim of a poo war is to force your poo out, whilst pushing against the other contestant’s poo, so it ends up inside the other’s anus. It is similar to a tug of war, but with pushing instead of pulling, and poo instead of rope. If you are challenged to a poo war and decline, you must allow the challenger to kick you in the bollocks/vagina.
Man 1: Oi, want a poo war fam?
Man 2: No, that’s disgusting you vile creature
2 minutes later
Man 2: Owwww!!! My vagina!!!!